recent update :
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written on Tuesday, March 27, 2018 @ 11:03 PM
to be honest? to be fucking honest, i miss writing. i miss blogging. i miss having the ability to just write and write like the words just spill from my finger to the keyboard, and form the alphabets to beautiful words. i should have embraced the time where i can write beautiful things. i miss writing about him. i miss him.
basically, at this moment of my life, i'm just missing everyone and everything. it feels like i'm dying. if only i could turn back the time. i wouldn't want to change anything. i just want to pay attention to the little details of my surroundings, knowing that that was the only time that i have to absorb the memories and appreciate things. my heart sank to the thought of that. i can feel like i'm losing myself. a bit by bit. i feel like i was already fading away, but i didn't realise that until now.
everything and anything slips from my fingers, just like water. sand. whatever it is. i have lost the grip. i don't want to hold on any longer. the past is pulling me with all of its force. i am stuck. people told me to move on, but where the fuck am i supposed to go?
where do i start
from h e r e
but i don't want to. tell the earth to stop rotating. pause, earth. i want to look him in the eyes for as long as i can because we both know, there will be no next time.
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written on Tuesday, March 27, 2018 @ 11:03 PM ✈
to be honest? to be fucking honest, i miss writing. i miss blogging. i miss having the ability to just write and write like the words just spill from my finger to the keyboard, and form the alphabets to beautiful words. i should have embraced the time where i can write beautiful things. i miss writing about him. i miss him.
basically, at this moment of my life, i'm just missing everyone and everything. it feels like i'm dying. if only i could turn back the time. i wouldn't want to change anything. i just want to pay attention to the little details of my surroundings, knowing that that was the only time that i have to absorb the memories and appreciate things. my heart sank to the thought of that. i can feel like i'm losing myself. a bit by bit. i feel like i was already fading away, but i didn't realise that until now.
everything and anything slips from my fingers, just like water. sand. whatever it is. i have lost the grip. i don't want to hold on any longer. the past is pulling me with all of its force. i am stuck. people told me to move on, but where the fuck am i supposed to go?
where do i start
from h e r e
but i don't want to. tell the earth to stop rotating. pause, earth. i want to look him in the eyes for as long as i can because we both know, there will be no next time.
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we live under the same sky
“To put away aimlessness and weakness, and to begin to think with purpose, is to enter the ranks of those strong ones who only recognize failure as one of the pathways to attainment; who make all conditions serve them, and who think strongly, attempt fearlessly, and accomplish masterfully.”
- James Allen Quotes
Sometimes I wonder how people see me and what they think of me. It scares me a bit, honestly. I am sure though, that what they think of me,
what they think my life is, is a complete misperception. I have always tried to show myself as a carefree person, as someone who wont get bothered
because of public judgements. I am sure my friend and family think there is nothing going wrong in my life, that I do not worry enough, that
I am always happy. And I am sure they probably somewhat hate me for it because, lets admit it, there is nothing worse than seeing someone
who is life seems so perfect while yours is a complete mess. Truth is, I have become an expert at pretending. I think we are all experts
or at least we are getting there.
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my sunshine
links exchanged opened! just tag me but link me first
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link
coming soon....
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