well, hello there people. how are you? good? good. okay. now what? NOW WHAT THAT WE HAVE REACH TOWARDS THE END OF THE YEAR??? seriously. i actually cannot believe that i survived throughout the whole year. i thought i might be dead somewhere in the beginning of the year. phew. 

being a dedicated blogger as i am (yeah right), i decided to write a post about my 2012. somehow, i have a lot of things that i wanted to talk about but i do not know where the hell should i begin. so, i am just going to answer some questions that i found from buzzfeed (lol). so yeah hahaha.

 1. What did you do this year that you’re proud of?

there is A LOT of things that i did this year that i am proud of. firstly, i decided to step out of my comfort zone. as it was my last year of high school, i thought there was nothing i could lose. i participated in my school drama (THE BEST ONE YET), public speaking, dancing and singing competition or performances (whichever). also, i entered my school's competition (SMKPG GOT TALENT) and i wrote a short story which you can find here in my blog (When Love Collides). and gladly to be said that i won the competition. first place for my category. but the participant in that category is not that a lot so the chances for me winning is quite big hahaha. so that's that. 

2. Who did you meet this year that inspired you?

honestly, i did not really meet a lot of new people. but the one that inspired me is probably my friends. being friends with them has showed me that everyone deserves another chance. and no matter if you have done a big mistake, the right people will always be there to accept you in their life. so i must say that i have the best friends i could ever ask for. 

 3. What did you read that you think bettered you?

i think It's Kind of a Funny Story by Ned Vizzini has made me a better person. and i really, really recommend you to read it because it is such a light reading. it carries quite a heavy topics but it delivers it in a fun way. i like the humour in it. totally laughable. i do not actually think that i have a quite lols for myself while reading. another book that i reread for this year that has bettered me is probably A Monster Calls by Patrick Ness. i might have shed a tear or two. also, i started to read the divergent series this year (late, i know) and it is grrrrreat. i am now starting on to read allegiant. which i am excited for. 

 4. What are songs that you will always hear and think of this year even when you’re listening on some contraption that hasn’t even been invented yet?

if i have been given the chance to list all of my favourite songs, you probably will never see tomorrow. it is never-ending haha. but let us all be real. the biggest hit this year is Hello by Adele and i am pretty sure i will remember 2o15 whenever i listen to that song. other song probably might be R.I.P 2 My Youth by The Neighbourhood. to be quite honest, i listen to that song on repeat for almost a week or so. yep. also that song reminds me about how am i about to enter the real world as the school ends so RIP YOUTH. 

5. What were some times that you laughed so hard you could barely breathe?

there are a lot of times that i laughed so hard that i could barely breathe. i even thought i might die for a second there. it is just a lot and i cannot tell which one. but mostly were when i was with my friends. probably family as well. but the last time i laugh so hard that i am completely outta my breath was yesterday, when i was watching tyler oakley's video. well, of course.

6. What were your favorite movies? Not what was good, not what you had to see because of your friends or the media. What were your favorites?

honestly, i didn't see a lot of movies this year. i haven't even watched paper towns and inside out yet. which is pretty sad. but my favourite movie from this year gotta be antman. it is just the best. i did watch pitch perfect 2 but i have to say the movie is pretty dull. meh. so yeah, antman gotta be the best one i have seen for 2015.

7. What are some fears that you had at the beginning of the year that you overcame?

fear of being my own self. fear of performing in front of people because i am scared that people might judge me. but now to think of that, i just do not care anymore. i gotta do what i want to do. just be it. just do it. do not think about other people. it is time for you to shine. JUST DO IT (read: in shia's voice)

8. What were quotes that you loved this year?

"show them all you're not the ordinary type." 

–P!ATD

"why fear death just because you know the song will end. is that any reason not to listen?"

–emerly35, Emily is Away

"no one really knows why they are alive until they know what they'd die for."

–Martin Luther King Jr.

"maybe there's more we all could have done, but we just have to let the guilt remind us to do better next time."

–Tobias Eaton.

"life goes on until it doesn't"

–Extraordinary Means.

"i know people come and go but it still hurts when they do."

9. What are ways that you exercised self care?

always, always remind myself to love myself, to choose to be happy. treat myself better. do not hurt myself just because somebody hurt me. that is not the way to do it. everything has a solution. trust God. if it doesn't have solution, it probably wouldn't exist in the first place. 

TW: i used to self harm, but now i am 6 months clean. self harm is a not way to escape. it does not worth it to be hurt in such a way . just because it relieves the pain, does not mean your problem will go away. treat yourself like a princess even if nobody treats you that way. you deserve to be treated well.

10. What are things you want to see more of next year?

i do not know what am i expecting. but i just need to see more FAITH IN HUMANITY. sorry if that appeared to be aggressive but yeah. we need faith in humanity. we are living in a dying world with a lot of bad people. however, i believe that good people still exist.

11. What are five things you did that you never thought you’d actually do?

- participate in drama

- singing in public

- participate in dancing

- public speaking

- love myself

12. What were your favorite things this year?

WHOA. A LOT OF THINGS. i cannot even list it. everything in this year probably is my favourite things in this year. despite how bad. it makes me who i am now. whoa deep.

13. What are the most important things you learned this year?

do not put somebody else as your happiness. be happy with no reason. just love yourself when nobody else does. it is okay to make mistake. it is okay to be a human. human makes mistake. the right person will always accept you no matter what. do not judge people for what they do in the past. it is in their past. it does not matter any more. try and choose to be happy. CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY. it is important. your self worth is not defined by how people treat you. if they treat you badly, they do not deserve you. i mean, how can you possibly assure that they will love you and take care of you if they do not even know how to treat you like a human being supposed to be treated. be nice to people. be kind. be wise. be whoever you are. remember, just because you act childish, does not mean you are not mature. maturity is defined by how you treat something. and love yourself. just love yourself. have faith.  

whoa. i sure did learn a lot this year. 

14. What is your favorite photo from this year?

- you are the best.

- may God give you the best and i love you loads :)

16. What are some places where you feel true joy in your life?

BOOK STORE. just book store.

oh wait. how can i forget anywhere with food haih. and not to forget, my room where i spent most of my time being alone. 

17. Where do you feel most yourself?

as i just said, my room. whenever i am with myself. whenever i am with my friends. my happy place :)

18. What were your favorite meals?

can we just not? 

BECAUSE I CANNOT CHOOSE.

but fish and chips, please. (idk why but i am not keen upon chicken any longer and that is sad).

19. How did you calm yourself in times of stress?

listen to quran recitation perhaps? probably go to youtube, watching some funny videos that can make me laugh away from my stress. 

20. What are some compliments that you received that deeply affected you?

"you are gifted."

:)

21. Who are people that you believe are bringing out the best in you?

my friends and family, of course. they are always there to support me to do things that i love. and they are there to advise me every time i needed it. so thanks to them and thanks to God for sending me such good people to be with. through ups and downs. 

22. What items of clothing did you buy that felt the most you?

does wristband count as items of clothing? if so, then...

"hidup ni tak selalu indah, kan? bukan sebab Allah tak nak bagi kita bahagia tapo Allah simpankan bahagia kita tu maybe untuk benda lain ke kan, kita tak tau.

27. What things have you been putting off doing because you didn’t have time?

i have not been writing in my poetry journal because of spm. so i need to continue it. also, i have not been drawing and colouring for a long time. i kinda miss it. 

28. What are some things you’d like to focus and work on in the next year?

i want to focus on my writing for next year. i want to improve my English to become better than they are now. because we can never stop learning, can we? so yeah. i just want to write more and more and more. if possible, i want to write a blog post everyday but it sounds hard. so we'll see. 

29. What are the best parts of you that you feel really showed through this year?

i do not really know my best parts. but i think receiving an award as the best English students does count as one, right? hehehe. 

30. What are your biggest hopes for 2016?

honestly, i do not really hope that much because as we usually hear is expectations always lead to disappointments. so yeah. no more high expectation. i am just hoping that i will become a better person and everything will come at ease. 

whoa. that was a really long post. so i had to limit myself when answering the question. so yeah. we are only a few hours away in leaving 2015. which is pretty sad. i have to admit that i am not ready yet to leave 2015. despite the bad things that happened, it is still the best year that i could ever ask. however, i wish you all will have a blast and shine bright for next year. just believe in yourself :)

Carpe Librum, 

L. 

well, hello there people. how are you? good? good. okay. now what? NOW WHAT THAT WE HAVE REACH TOWARDS THE END OF THE YEAR??? seriously. i actually cannot believe that i survived throughout the whole year. i thought i might be dead somewhere in the beginning of the year. phew. 

being a dedicated blogger as i am (yeah right), i decided to write a post about my 2012. somehow, i have a lot of things that i wanted to talk about but i do not know where the hell should i begin. so, i am just going to answer some questions that i found from buzzfeed (lol). so yeah hahaha.

 1. What did you do this year that you’re proud of?

there is A LOT of things that i did this year that i am proud of. firstly, i decided to step out of my comfort zone. as it was my last year of high school, i thought there was nothing i could lose. i participated in my school drama (THE BEST ONE YET), public speaking, dancing and singing competition or performances (whichever). also, i entered my school's competition (SMKPG GOT TALENT) and i wrote a short story which you can find here in my blog (When Love Collides). and gladly to be said that i won the competition. first place for my category. but the participant in that category is not that a lot so the chances for me winning is quite big hahaha. so that's that. 

2. Who did you meet this year that inspired you?

honestly, i did not really meet a lot of new people. but the one that inspired me is probably my friends. being friends with them has showed me that everyone deserves another chance. and no matter if you have done a big mistake, the right people will always be there to accept you in their life. so i must say that i have the best friends i could ever ask for. 

 3. What did you read that you think bettered you?

i think It's Kind of a Funny Story by Ned Vizzini has made me a better person. and i really, really recommend you to read it because it is such a light reading. it carries quite a heavy topics but it delivers it in a fun way. i like the humour in it. totally laughable. i do not actually think that i have a quite lols for myself while reading. another book that i reread for this year that has bettered me is probably A Monster Calls by Patrick Ness. i might have shed a tear or two. also, i started to read the divergent series this year (late, i know) and it is grrrrreat. i am now starting on to read allegiant. which i am excited for. 

 4. What are songs that you will always hear and think of this year even when you’re listening on some contraption that hasn’t even been invented yet?

if i have been given the chance to list all of my favourite songs, you probably will never see tomorrow. it is never-ending haha. but let us all be real. the biggest hit this year is Hello by Adele and i am pretty sure i will remember 2o15 whenever i listen to that song. other song probably might be R.I.P 2 My Youth by The Neighbourhood. to be quite honest, i listen to that song on repeat for almost a week or so. yep. also that song reminds me about how am i about to enter the real world as the school ends so RIP YOUTH. 

5. What were some times that you laughed so hard you could barely breathe?

there are a lot of times that i laughed so hard that i could barely breathe. i even thought i might die for a second there. it is just a lot and i cannot tell which one. but mostly were when i was with my friends. probably family as well. but the last time i laugh so hard that i am completely outta my breath was yesterday, when i was watching tyler oakley's video. well, of course.

6. What were your favorite movies? Not what was good, not what you had to see because of your friends or the media. What were your favorites?

honestly, i didn't see a lot of movies this year. i haven't even watched paper towns and inside out yet. which is pretty sad. but my favourite movie from this year gotta be antman. it is just the best. i did watch pitch perfect 2 but i have to say the movie is pretty dull. meh. so yeah, antman gotta be the best one i have seen for 2015.

7. What are some fears that you had at the beginning of the year that you overcame?

fear of being my own self. fear of performing in front of people because i am scared that people might judge me. but now to think of that, i just do not care anymore. i gotta do what i want to do. just be it. just do it. do not think about other people. it is time for you to shine. JUST DO IT (read: in shia's voice)

8. What were quotes that you loved this year?

"show them all you're not the ordinary type." 

–P!ATD

"why fear death just because you know the song will end. is that any reason not to listen?"

–emerly35, Emily is Away

"no one really knows why they are alive until they know what they'd die for."

–Martin Luther King Jr.

"maybe there's more we all could have done, but we just have to let the guilt remind us to do better next time."

–Tobias Eaton.

"life goes on until it doesn't"

–Extraordinary Means.

"i know people come and go but it still hurts when they do."

9. What are ways that you exercised self care?

always, always remind myself to love myself, to choose to be happy. treat myself better. do not hurt myself just because somebody hurt me. that is not the way to do it. everything has a solution. trust God. if it doesn't have solution, it probably wouldn't exist in the first place. 

TW: i used to self harm, but now i am 6 months clean. self harm is a not way to escape. it does not worth it to be hurt in such a way . just because it relieves the pain, does not mean your problem will go away. treat yourself like a princess even if nobody treats you that way. you deserve to be treated well.

10. What are things you want to see more of next year?

i do not know what am i expecting. but i just need to see more FAITH IN HUMANITY. sorry if that appeared to be aggressive but yeah. we need faith in humanity. we are living in a dying world with a lot of bad people. however, i believe that good people still exist.

11. What are five things you did that you never thought you’d actually do?

- participate in drama

- singing in public

- participate in dancing

- public speaking

- love myself

12. What were your favorite things this year?

WHOA. A LOT OF THINGS. i cannot even list it. everything in this year probably is my favourite things in this year. despite how bad. it makes me who i am now. whoa deep.

13. What are the most important things you learned this year?

do not put somebody else as your happiness. be happy with no reason. just love yourself when nobody else does. it is okay to make mistake. it is okay to be a human. human makes mistake. the right person will always accept you no matter what. do not judge people for what they do in the past. it is in their past. it does not matter any more. try and choose to be happy. CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY. it is important. your self worth is not defined by how people treat you. if they treat you badly, they do not deserve you. i mean, how can you possibly assure that they will love you and take care of you if they do not even know how to treat you like a human being supposed to be treated. be nice to people. be kind. be wise. be whoever you are. remember, just because you act childish, does not mean you are not mature. maturity is defined by how you treat something. and love yourself. just love yourself. have faith.  

whoa. i sure did learn a lot this year. 

14. What is your favorite photo from this year?

- you are the best.

- may God give you the best and i love you loads :)

16. What are some places where you feel true joy in your life?

BOOK STORE. just book store.

oh wait. how can i forget anywhere with food haih. and not to forget, my room where i spent most of my time being alone. 

17. Where do you feel most yourself?

as i just said, my room. whenever i am with myself. whenever i am with my friends. my happy place :)

18. What were your favorite meals?

can we just not? 

BECAUSE I CANNOT CHOOSE.

but fish and chips, please. (idk why but i am not keen upon chicken any longer and that is sad).

19. How did you calm yourself in times of stress?

listen to quran recitation perhaps? probably go to youtube, watching some funny videos that can make me laugh away from my stress. 

20. What are some compliments that you received that deeply affected you?

"you are gifted."

:)

21. Who are people that you believe are bringing out the best in you?

my friends and family, of course. they are always there to support me to do things that i love. and they are there to advise me every time i needed it. so thanks to them and thanks to God for sending me such good people to be with. through ups and downs. 

22. What items of clothing did you buy that felt the most you?

does wristband count as items of clothing? if so, then...

"hidup ni tak selalu indah, kan? bukan sebab Allah tak nak bagi kita bahagia tapo Allah simpankan bahagia kita tu maybe untuk benda lain ke kan, kita tak tau.

27. What things have you been putting off doing because you didn’t have time?

i have not been writing in my poetry journal because of spm. so i need to continue it. also, i have not been drawing and colouring for a long time. i kinda miss it. 

28. What are some things you’d like to focus and work on in the next year?

i want to focus on my writing for next year. i want to improve my English to become better than they are now. because we can never stop learning, can we? so yeah. i just want to write more and more and more. if possible, i want to write a blog post everyday but it sounds hard. so we'll see. 

29. What are the best parts of you that you feel really showed through this year?

i do not really know my best parts. but i think receiving an award as the best English students does count as one, right? hehehe. 

30. What are your biggest hopes for 2016?

honestly, i do not really hope that much because as we usually hear is expectations always lead to disappointments. so yeah. no more high expectation. i am just hoping that i will become a better person and everything will come at ease. 

whoa. that was a really long post. so i had to limit myself when answering the question. so yeah. we are only a few hours away in leaving 2015. which is pretty sad. i have to admit that i am not ready yet to leave 2015. despite the bad things that happened, it is still the best year that i could ever ask. however, i wish you all will have a blast and shine bright for next year. just believe in yourself :)

Carpe Librum, 

L.