recent update :
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my b r a i n
written on Saturday, June 23, 2018 @ 8:58 PM
so, for today, we're going to talk about my brain. yes, brain. i hope this post doesn't attract any zombies though. so yeah, here's a definition of brain in my own words. brain: a mushy lumpy and bloody thingy that has the capability to hold so many fucking things in it. weird how our body works, right? god is so powerful and we, over here are trying to take over his job and playing god. funny.
but yeah, i feel like my brain is so weird. every little things, piques my curiousity and my interest. my brain literally never shuts up. even when i'm typing away this post, my brain literally has a say on everything. yet, i still cannot multitask. anyways, it will literally pop up the most random thing, or even the funniest tweet that i came across literally two years ago and suddenly i'm laughing. which caught the attention of the people around me. especially, my mum. most of the time, she got scared whenever she caught me talking or laughing on my own while i'm just doing my own thing. like, it's not a normal thing to do. is it, though?
that explains the overthinking. my brain will literally create a scenario that are least likely to happen. a scenario that will cause death. sometimes, i feel like i'm in final destination. because my thoughts could really run wild with the worst scenario that could ever happen. like i would literally just sit down under a fucking ceiling fan, and my brain will literally show me a short film of how i'm gonna die when the fan is gonna fall on top of me and cut my head off. yep. and that is the least scary imagination of mine. it could be so much worse than that. yes, my brain holds the darkest thing.
other than that, i think that i think of other people too much. when i probably don't even cross their minds for years. that's how unimportant i am. most of the time, i would be the one who remembers so much details of one event amongst my friends. it's so bizarre. and when they couldn't remember anything about it, it finally hits me that maybe i just like to keep all the unnecessary stuffs in my brain's memory holder. maybe that's what makes it so hard for me to move on from someone. because my brain just remembers a lot of things that i should have not been remembering anymore. that's the thing, i cling to something i should not be clinging to.
what if one day, my brain reaches the capacity of holding what it can bear? can i delete some of the memories that i kept? would that allow me to remember the new things that i should be remembering instead? will i ever reach to that point? i'm guessing, yes because i remember all the little things too much that it kinda scares me. why do i remember all these things when people don't even keep the memories of such things?
i remember a lot of things about them.
do they even remember me?
even just a glimpse of thought?
of me?
maybe not.
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my b r a i n
written on Saturday, June 23, 2018 @ 8:58 PM ✈
so, for today, we're going to talk about my brain. yes, brain. i hope this post doesn't attract any zombies though. so yeah, here's a definition of brain in my own words. brain: a mushy lumpy and bloody thingy that has the capability to hold so many fucking things in it. weird how our body works, right? god is so powerful and we, over here are trying to take over his job and playing god. funny.
but yeah, i feel like my brain is so weird. every little things, piques my curiousity and my interest. my brain literally never shuts up. even when i'm typing away this post, my brain literally has a say on everything. yet, i still cannot multitask. anyways, it will literally pop up the most random thing, or even the funniest tweet that i came across literally two years ago and suddenly i'm laughing. which caught the attention of the people around me. especially, my mum. most of the time, she got scared whenever she caught me talking or laughing on my own while i'm just doing my own thing. like, it's not a normal thing to do. is it, though?
that explains the overthinking. my brain will literally create a scenario that are least likely to happen. a scenario that will cause death. sometimes, i feel like i'm in final destination. because my thoughts could really run wild with the worst scenario that could ever happen. like i would literally just sit down under a fucking ceiling fan, and my brain will literally show me a short film of how i'm gonna die when the fan is gonna fall on top of me and cut my head off. yep. and that is the least scary imagination of mine. it could be so much worse than that. yes, my brain holds the darkest thing.
other than that, i think that i think of other people too much. when i probably don't even cross their minds for years. that's how unimportant i am. most of the time, i would be the one who remembers so much details of one event amongst my friends. it's so bizarre. and when they couldn't remember anything about it, it finally hits me that maybe i just like to keep all the unnecessary stuffs in my brain's memory holder. maybe that's what makes it so hard for me to move on from someone. because my brain just remembers a lot of things that i should have not been remembering anymore. that's the thing, i cling to something i should not be clinging to.
what if one day, my brain reaches the capacity of holding what it can bear? can i delete some of the memories that i kept? would that allow me to remember the new things that i should be remembering instead? will i ever reach to that point? i'm guessing, yes because i remember all the little things too much that it kinda scares me. why do i remember all these things when people don't even keep the memories of such things?
i remember a lot of things about them.
do they even remember me?
even just a glimpse of thought?
of me?
maybe not.
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we live under the same sky
“To put away aimlessness and weakness, and to begin to think with purpose, is to enter the ranks of those strong ones who only recognize failure as one of the pathways to attainment; who make all conditions serve them, and who think strongly, attempt fearlessly, and accomplish masterfully.”
- James Allen Quotes
Sometimes I wonder how people see me and what they think of me. It scares me a bit, honestly. I am sure though, that what they think of me,
what they think my life is, is a complete misperception. I have always tried to show myself as a carefree person, as someone who wont get bothered
because of public judgements. I am sure my friend and family think there is nothing going wrong in my life, that I do not worry enough, that
I am always happy. And I am sure they probably somewhat hate me for it because, lets admit it, there is nothing worse than seeing someone
who is life seems so perfect while yours is a complete mess. Truth is, I have become an expert at pretending. I think we are all experts
or at least we are getting there.
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my sunshine
links exchanged opened! just tag me but link me first
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link
coming soon....
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