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52. #fangirlfriday: JackSepticEye
written on Thursday, February 11, 2016 @ 5:00 PM
TOP OF THE MORNIN TO YA LADDIES!
here we go again with another #fangirlfriday. i wonder if somebody read this lolz. as long as i can be in my safe-zone (where i can fangirl freely), i could care less about anything else. so anyway, this week, i choose JackSepticEye because on the 7th of February, it was his birthday. so why not?
Name:
Sean William McLoughlin
Youtube Account:
Why do I like him:
okay, first thing's first, you might want to lower down the volume if you are watching his video. that warning is for the first timer. not for the thousandth timers like me, to be exact. which leads to why the heck i like him. I LOVE HIM. the first video that i watched from his channel is when he was playing This Static Speaks My Name because i couldn't play Markiplier's video for that. and for that particular reason, is how i started to watch him more. if you are used to him, he is VERY LOUD. he shouts a lot. i don't know if that's a gamers thing or what, but he just have that feature inside him. and i like it. the moment he shouts the intro, i know this guy is the one. because, most of the tie you will find people will be very annoyed with people who shout all the time, so the fact that he starts off his video with shouting until the beginning makes me think that he is the one that doesn't give a damn about what people said. despite the loudness, he still got a lot of subscribers and viewers. but not all of that matters, he said. i still think that he is one of the most genuine person ever. he speaks his heart and mind out. i just LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOOOVE him so much.
Favourite Quote(s):
"don’t quote me on that. don’t quote me on anything i ever say."
"wooshie whoosh don't take shit from no one."
"i care about each and every one of you and i'm here for you."
"shits deep. so deep adele could roll in it."
" see that’s what happens. i get better better worse worse worse worse throw the iPad OUT the window it gets picked up by some homeless man outside who thinks he’s won the LOTTERY because he just found a random ipad just outside and it has lots of cool things like geometry dash and he’s going to make a YouTube channel and he’s going to be fucking better at the game than i am." <-- this is Jack playing Geometry Dash.
this is so hard. i love everything he says :(
Favourite Video(s):
so, the fact that he plays a lot of series of game, i'm just going to link the playlist instead.
this is ridiculous. i like all of his videos.
Who do I ship him with:
with his GIRLFRIEND (WIISHU) DUHHH
SEPTIPLIER
that was it. and i didn't include the fav collab as he rarely does a collab because most of his videos are him, playing games. GOD, i just love him. so make sure you watch his video and subscribe and all.
THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH FOR READING THIS POST, IF YOU LIKE IT, PUNCH THAT LIKE BUTTON IN THE FACE LIKE A BOSS AND HIGH FIVE'S ALL 'ROUND. THANK YOU GUYS AND I WILL SEE YOU ALL DUDES IN THE NEXT VIDEO~
sorry, just had to do his outro to make this post complete.
Keep Calm and Fangirl,
L.
Labels: #fangirlfriday, happiness, obsession, popular
45. #fangirlfriday: Dodie Clark
written on Friday, January 22, 2016 @ 3:00 PM
hola. we meet again with a post about things that i love. sounds familiar? yeah. i just talk about it yesterday. time flies, huh? but heyyyy, it's friday again. you do know what it means, right? it is time for us, the ultimate fangirls and fanboys out there to let out their inner fangirling skills. yep. yep. as you are aware of the title, to day i am going to talk about Dodie Clark.
so here goes my fan edit that i did for Dodie Clark me Lahv <3
i am really trying hard to step up my editing skills aha
Full Name:
Dorothy Miranda Clark
Youtube Account:
Why do I like her:
to those who don't know who she is, why? okay, sorry. she does singing and vlogging and all. she also does have original songs that she wrote herself which are amazing. i seriously cannot choose which ones are the best really. you really need to hear them out. but most of all, i like her because her videos give me some sort of the feeling like i am home. although i have been subscribing to her for quite a long time, i haven't been watching her youtube videos until recently. and i regret instantly for not obsessing her earlier in the time. she is just amazingly talented and that is all i could say. words cannot describe how amazing she is. i like the way she talks. i can really feel like she is talking to me soul to soul. like i am not even kidding. i feel close to her. i feel like i am home. is that weird? i am a fangirl. nothing about fangirling is weird. shush.
Favourite Quote(s):
"the things that you don't like, someone else LOVES."
can i just quotes the whole lyrics of sick of losing soulmates by her? hahahah. cause it is just amazingggg.
Favourite Video(s):
Favourite Collab(s):
obviously Dodie and her sister Hedy
Who do I ship her with:
I FREAKING SHIP HER AND JON COZART (FULLSTOP). i mean there is a reason why an awkward duet is my favourite video. only God knows how many times did I watch that. too many. countless times.
and there goes my fangirl friday woohoo! seriously. go subscribe to her because she is just brilliant. if you are not subscribing, you really are missing out, mister. i am serious. this is serious. okay, i am done with this. somebody take me out from here.
Keep Calm and FANGIRL,
L.
Labels: #fangirlfriday, favourite, happiness, youtuber
#30 - SPM IS OVER
written on Tuesday, December 8, 2015 @ 11:56 PM
okay so spm is over. now what?
to be honest, it is hard for me to fathom the fact that i have ended high school. whoa. time does fly, aye. thinking about the world outside school really gives me an eerie feeling. to think about it, i can barely handle the pressure in high school so how the *beep* am i going to handle the real world? but that is it. we have to face it, so then we can finally overcome our fear. am i right, or am i right? hahaha.
my spm ended on the 7th of December, which is a week later than the other students in my school. sucks, tell me about it. we had to learn that one particular subject throughout the whole week. we had no choice anyway. so i guess the last test went quite well? i don't even know because most of the time, my mind was filled with the thoughts of what am i going to do after the test, which is a lot of things. aaaaand i ended up doing nothing, just binge watching some youtube videos. what a life. i also have some books to read (when i said some, there are actually 8 books eagerly waiting to be read) yep. yep. i'm all about that books.
right after the test ended, my class teacher, along with my classmates and I went to have a somewhat picnic(?) i don't even know. what i do know is we had a lot of fun and food. food matters. being the 'normal' youth as we all are, we took tons of picture. so i'm just going to insert some of the pictures, if you excuse me.
i'm not going to upload all of the pictures though but yeah. most of us were squinting because it was too bright and sunny. protect your eyes (and skin), lads.
so now, i don't know what should i do. well, i want to find a job but i don't know where to start. well, being introvert and socially awkward simultaneously are not the best combination, i suppose. i'm just that bad in talking with people. like seriously. i stutter a lot. i have literally 1% self-confidence, or 2.5% if i'm lucky. other than that, meh. i really wish i can be a blogger as my profession. or fangirl. because that's what i do best, not interacting with people in real life.
i think that is it. i don't have anything to say. so long and good night *sings Helena by MCR* hahah good byeeeeeeeeee xx
Carpe Librum,
L.
Labels: 2015, favourite, friends, happiness, happy, life, school, thoughts
29. leaving high school.
written on Saturday, October 31, 2015 @ 10:31 PM
just a reminder. this might be a very lengthy post (and a very emosh one). you do not have to read it if you do not want to. but BRACE YOURSELF.
do you know that feeling when you're reading, that you don't want to end the book but you need and dying to know what the ending is? i feel the same way about leaving high school. i admit that there comes the time when i could not wait to leave high school and be free from all the tension and pressure. but now that i come towards the end of it, i realise that i actually do not want this to end. i do not want to leave high school. i am not yet ready to face the so-called real world. okay, think about it. we are going to leave the same routine that we have been doing for almost 11 years. i think i might have some kind of a love hate relationship with school. because, let's be real. leaving homeworks. BIG YES. leaving friends (or people). NONONONONOOOOO.
i think the reason i do not want to leave high school is mainly because i do not want to leave people. i fear of being forgotten and forgetting. i hate it when i forget people because i know what is it like to be forgotten. we have been building friendships and relationships for almost 5 years. the scariest bit of leaving high school is that you do not know if those people you have been together with for 5 years are going to stay or just be gone. are they the one, or the one that got away? that is why people say, the end is the beginning. once we end high school, we begin to know who has God sent to us to stay in our life and the ones who are not. the ones who matter to us the most might be not that kind of person to us anymore.
i would want to post this on my instagram but the caption would be a never-ending scroll. also, i would love to do an appreciation post to all of the people that mean the most to me but that would be impossible to do so. instead, i just do a blog post instead.
to those who i knew since kindergarten or primary school, or the ones who i knew since the beginning of high school, the ones who i used to love or hate or both, the ones who i just got close to this year, the ones who i just got to know (in the last two weeks of school) although we have been in the same school for 5 years or less than that, the ones who i fangirl with, the ones who share the same interest as mine but i just know about it in the last week of school (ugh sucks), the ones who i usually look from a distance and do not have the guts to talk to, to the teacher who is like my best friend now, the ones who used to be my friend to acquaintances to stranger (or vice versa), the ones who i do not talk to anymore but i used to be close (and might have some of my secrets), even to those who i barely talk to (or never have i ever) and not to forget to those who i exchange glances and smiles once in a while.
there are a lot of other people who i would like to mention but i would need an eternity to do so. i hope those people who read this know who they are without me mentioning their name. i just want you to know that all of you matter to me. no matter if you are still in my life or not. our path crossed with reasons. God has written the story of our lives without flaws. God has sent all of you into my life and God has sent me into your lives, with reasons. either as a lesson or a blessing.
this may be too cheesy or it does not even matter to you. some of you might gag reading this because let's be real, we will move on from this and probably another year from now, it would not matter to us any longer. but i just want to talk about it as long as it is still matter to me. i want to embrace it as long as it is still in my mind. because it has become a part of my life and i cannot not talk about it. this is the story that i am going to tell to my child later. this is the story of my life and i do not want to forget it. as worse as it can get, it is still the best memory that i have and i will take it with me in the pocket of my mind wherever i go.
it does feel good though, leaving high school. no more homeworks. no more studying stuffs that we are not eager to know. no more assembly. no more having to wake up early. but leaving high school also means, no more seeing your best friends five days a week or maybe more. no more screaming your teacher's name and wouldn't stop talking about how beautiful she can get each day, everyday. no more stupid inside jokes with your friend while the teacher is teaching. no more gossips. no more creeping and fangirling to your crush. no more hiding your classmates' stuffs. no more copying your friend's homework. no more horror story-telling by your teacher. no more EVERYTHING. and that is sad. talking about this just can make me hear my heart breaking louder and clearer than before.
to the teachers, i could not thank you enough for your supports. all the sacrifices yet we still wouldn't listen to all of you. sorry for being such a nuisance. thanks for being our best friends, sisters, brothers, and parents in school. without all of you, i wouldn't be where i am right now.
and to my english teachers and all of my other teachers,
this is for all of you. thank you for giving me support and inspire me to get better and do better each day.
to the 2015's alumnus of smkpg, i am glad that we were born in the same year. i am sorry for all of my wrongdoings, either vaguely done or not. i could not thank all of you enough for entering my life. even the little things matter. probably your smile had made my day before. i may not have given all of you a lot to remember. and i cannot promise you that i won't forget you because at some point in my life, i might will. and you might forget me as well. but i hope to God that i won't. just remember that, at some point in my life, you guys are the reason that i am still here.
to the juniors, please behave. create more memories because you are guiding your own story. it will be something that you will remember in the little side of your mind. do not burden the teachers. do not be mad at the teachers when they scold you because they won't be mad at you for nothing. they are doing what they are doing because that is what they are supposed to do. appreciate them. thank them. love them. be good. be kind. and for the drama people next year, you can do better without having to be trees to win ;)
all in all, good luck for spm and i believe in all of us. we can do this. may the best batch succeed.
Carpe Librum,
L.
Labels: 2014, 2015, feelings, friends, happiness, life, memories, school, thoughts
26. Big Bad Wolf Johor.
written on Saturday, June 6, 2015 @ 3:56 PM
before i could scream to myself, i know. i haven't been posting for quite awhile. but that is because i am just lazy. no reason needed. haish. futhermore, i have a lot to tell just too hard to put it into words. i am still stuck with my short stories and all. i think i have to start over a new one. i am feeling a little bit fantasy inspired haha idk.
but anyway, i went to Big Bad Wolf Book Sale last Tuesday i guess with my favourite little one {Amira Farain} hehe. first of all, it was a fun day. it was a real unexpected fun day. you know the day when you just plan what you are going to do but it turned out pretty awesome? yeah. THAT kind of day.
big bad wolf was awesome. i wish i could go there again but i am quite broke at the moment so HAH till then, see you next year mr wolfy *wipes tears dramatically* hahaha but seriously. it was amazing. i bought FOUR books for RM30 only! How crazy is that? normally, i could get only one book for RM30. Big Bad Wolf saved my life as i haven't been buying new books lately. but yay!
we fangirled like crazy people might think we escaped from the asylum or something...
all because of books.
yep.
after that, we went to JBCC because we planned to eat dinner outside. so we walked around together. and then, we bumped into these guys...
a day full of ma faves awh hahahaha oh yeah Amira and I were wearing the same sweater hehehe #twinning4lyf. okay back to the topic hahaha, well we knew that the guys were there and i was kinda hoping that we would meet or what. then, as we were window shopping, suddenly they came up to us. i guess you can say i was surprise i nearly had a heart attack. how very dramatic of me. but really though.
after that, we talked for awhile and took selfie {obviously!} for a bit and thennnnnnn i met my cousin. see what i mean? favourite people. Amira and I then went to Bath & Body Works. like always, we fangirled a lot. we smelt almost everything in the shop before my cousin came in and told me to pick anything cheap hahaha so i picked the Mad About You fragrance mist. hahaha. she paid for it though. thanks kak nadiiii <3
we went to dinner before we went home hehe it was seriously such a fun day. thanks to ma favourite people! i looooooooove you guys so much <3 i smiled the whole through writing this blog post. even thinking about it makes me happy. idk sometimes the simplest thing in life can actually make you happy. so do whatever you want, you might create great memories with it, right? so, why not? ;)
Carpe Librum,
L.
Labels: 2015, bbw, big bad wolf, book, family, favourite, feelings, friends, happiness, happy, memories
22. do more of what makes you happy
written on Friday, January 23, 2015 @ 6:30 PM
of course i'm going to find a reason to use harry potter references for my blog post. duh.
hello. it is time for a new blog post yeahhh! i have enter the second week of school. things are getting more complicated and stressful. but there's nothing bad to complain, i guess? at least, on the bright side, i get to study. some other people are dying to get an education.
what a positive vibe that is. hahaha. and alsooooo, i went for an audition. FOR DRAMA. i have always wanted to be in a play. (theater sounds fun!) but before this, i don't get the chance to. but once, my English teacher told me to act out a scene from a drama that we studied (Gulp and Gasp), and i kinda nailed it. she then said that i should enter drama. so then i did. i took it as a challenge. and i'm glad that i did, because i got the part :D
during that audition, we need to partner up and have to make up a situation. FORTUNATELY, my partner is also a potterhead ._. the world is small, i know. and we couldn't think any situation. so i suggested us to do an improvisation for harry potter. i used my short fanfiction (that i'm currently writing). ooohh sneak peek! not going to tell what was it about, because then it will be a spoiler :P but we did it :) the teacher liked it. we both got the part. and coincidentally, the judge is my English teacher. and now, she refers me as the girl who acted out a scene from harry potter hahaha. niceeee. although it was short, she said that we did amazing. couldn't be happier. (despite the fact that i have found another potterhead) also, there wasn't so much people auditioning for drama. so, there were only four people who got the part. and only 4 girls who went to the audition.
AND THEN, my dearest (last year's) english teacher, she said that she suggested me for public speaking hahahahahahaha. me? speaking in front of people? spontaneously?? i'm screwed, i thought. but then to think about it, why not? it sure worth the try, right? so, i'm going for the audition next week. wish me luck! i have to give a speech about fame. i have already done writing the text. and i have practiced. but, most of the time i stutter. surprisingly, i did it today. less stuttering.
i think that maybe this is the way for me to find myself. what i'm actually capable of. other than writing. of course, drama is already a new whole level for me. and public speaking is totally out of my comfort zone. but if i stay where i am for the rest of my life, then i won't be improving. don't you think that we should try and change ourselves for the better? sometimes, changing isn't something really bad. SOMETIMES. also, i can add up my co-curriculum's mark. why not kill two birds with one stone? well, without the killing part for sure.
so what i'm telling you is, do more of what makes you happy. despite the fact that people will tease or whatever, but WHO THE HECK CARES? it's your life. if you want to tell your crush that you like her/him, do it anyways. if you want to go and create a blog, why not? fire away. if you want to eat chocolate, then eat. don't think about what people say. why do you want your life to depend on what people say? your life is worth more than what they say. create memories, because that's what lasts forever. not only you'll gain experience, but you, too, will become happier. do you want to ever think "why didn't i do that?" when you're older, just because of afraid to get judged by other people? you weren't born to please people. well, i know that i do that all the time. like for an example, i wanted to do a youtube video but i'm too scared that people will make fun of me. but who knows, after i be in drama, i have the courage to do one? right? it's always a step to another level. no matter how slow it is.
so, screw what other people think. do what you want to do. say what you want to say (not bad things). be what you want to be. as long as it makes you happy.
go. make a change. for the better cause. you live once a lifetime. <- ( a fancier version to say YOLO) :P
Carpe Librum,
L.
photo credit; WeHeartIt.
Labels: feelings, happiness, life, thoughts
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52. #fangirlfriday: JackSepticEye
written on Thursday, February 11, 2016 @ 5:00 PM ✈
TOP OF THE MORNIN TO YA LADDIES!
here we go again with another #fangirlfriday. i wonder if somebody read this lolz. as long as i can be in my safe-zone (where i can fangirl freely), i could care less about anything else. so anyway, this week, i choose JackSepticEye because on the 7th of February, it was his birthday. so why not?
Name:
Sean William McLoughlin
Youtube Account:
Why do I like him:
okay, first thing's first, you might want to lower down the volume if you are watching his video. that warning is for the first timer. not for the thousandth timers like me, to be exact. which leads to why the heck i like him. I LOVE HIM. the first video that i watched from his channel is when he was playing This Static Speaks My Name because i couldn't play Markiplier's video for that. and for that particular reason, is how i started to watch him more. if you are used to him, he is VERY LOUD. he shouts a lot. i don't know if that's a gamers thing or what, but he just have that feature inside him. and i like it. the moment he shouts the intro, i know this guy is the one. because, most of the tie you will find people will be very annoyed with people who shout all the time, so the fact that he starts off his video with shouting until the beginning makes me think that he is the one that doesn't give a damn about what people said. despite the loudness, he still got a lot of subscribers and viewers. but not all of that matters, he said. i still think that he is one of the most genuine person ever. he speaks his heart and mind out. i just LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOOOVE him so much.
Favourite Quote(s):
"don’t quote me on that. don’t quote me on anything i ever say."
"wooshie whoosh don't take shit from no one."
"i care about each and every one of you and i'm here for you."
"shits deep. so deep adele could roll in it."
" see that’s what happens. i get better better worse worse worse worse throw the iPad OUT the window it gets picked up by some homeless man outside who thinks he’s won the LOTTERY because he just found a random ipad just outside and it has lots of cool things like geometry dash and he’s going to make a YouTube channel and he’s going to be fucking better at the game than i am." <-- this is Jack playing Geometry Dash.
this is so hard. i love everything he says :(
Favourite Video(s):
so, the fact that he plays a lot of series of game, i'm just going to link the playlist instead.
this is ridiculous. i like all of his videos.
Who do I ship him with:
with his GIRLFRIEND (WIISHU) DUHHH
SEPTIPLIER
that was it. and i didn't include the fav collab as he rarely does a collab because most of his videos are him, playing games. GOD, i just love him. so make sure you watch his video and subscribe and all.
THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH FOR READING THIS POST, IF YOU LIKE IT, PUNCH THAT LIKE BUTTON IN THE FACE LIKE A BOSS AND HIGH FIVE'S ALL 'ROUND. THANK YOU GUYS AND I WILL SEE YOU ALL DUDES IN THE NEXT VIDEO~
sorry, just had to do his outro to make this post complete.
Keep Calm and Fangirl,
L.
Labels: #fangirlfriday, happiness, obsession, popular
45. #fangirlfriday: Dodie Clark
written on Friday, January 22, 2016 @ 3:00 PM ✈
hola. we meet again with a post about things that i love. sounds familiar? yeah. i just talk about it yesterday. time flies, huh? but heyyyy, it's friday again. you do know what it means, right? it is time for us, the ultimate fangirls and fanboys out there to let out their inner fangirling skills. yep. yep. as you are aware of the title, to day i am going to talk about Dodie Clark.
so here goes my fan edit that i did for Dodie Clark me Lahv <3
i am really trying hard to step up my editing skills aha
Full Name:
Dorothy Miranda Clark
Youtube Account:
Why do I like her:
to those who don't know who she is, why? okay, sorry. she does singing and vlogging and all. she also does have original songs that she wrote herself which are amazing. i seriously cannot choose which ones are the best really. you really need to hear them out. but most of all, i like her because her videos give me some sort of the feeling like i am home. although i have been subscribing to her for quite a long time, i haven't been watching her youtube videos until recently. and i regret instantly for not obsessing her earlier in the time. she is just amazingly talented and that is all i could say. words cannot describe how amazing she is. i like the way she talks. i can really feel like she is talking to me soul to soul. like i am not even kidding. i feel close to her. i feel like i am home. is that weird? i am a fangirl. nothing about fangirling is weird. shush.
Favourite Quote(s):
"the things that you don't like, someone else LOVES."
can i just quotes the whole lyrics of sick of losing soulmates by her? hahahah. cause it is just amazingggg.
Favourite Video(s):
Favourite Collab(s):
obviously Dodie and her sister Hedy
Who do I ship her with:
I FREAKING SHIP HER AND JON COZART (FULLSTOP). i mean there is a reason why an awkward duet is my favourite video. only God knows how many times did I watch that. too many. countless times.
and there goes my fangirl friday woohoo! seriously. go subscribe to her because she is just brilliant. if you are not subscribing, you really are missing out, mister. i am serious. this is serious. okay, i am done with this. somebody take me out from here.
Keep Calm and FANGIRL,
L.
Labels: #fangirlfriday, favourite, happiness, youtuber
#30 - SPM IS OVER
written on Tuesday, December 8, 2015 @ 11:56 PM ✈
okay so spm is over. now what?
to be honest, it is hard for me to fathom the fact that i have ended high school. whoa. time does fly, aye. thinking about the world outside school really gives me an eerie feeling. to think about it, i can barely handle the pressure in high school so how the *beep* am i going to handle the real world? but that is it. we have to face it, so then we can finally overcome our fear. am i right, or am i right? hahaha.
my spm ended on the 7th of December, which is a week later than the other students in my school. sucks, tell me about it. we had to learn that one particular subject throughout the whole week. we had no choice anyway. so i guess the last test went quite well? i don't even know because most of the time, my mind was filled with the thoughts of what am i going to do after the test, which is a lot of things. aaaaand i ended up doing nothing, just binge watching some youtube videos. what a life. i also have some books to read (when i said some, there are actually 8 books eagerly waiting to be read) yep. yep. i'm all about that books.
right after the test ended, my class teacher, along with my classmates and I went to have a somewhat picnic(?) i don't even know. what i do know is we had a lot of fun and food. food matters. being the 'normal' youth as we all are, we took tons of picture. so i'm just going to insert some of the pictures, if you excuse me.
i'm not going to upload all of the pictures though but yeah. most of us were squinting because it was too bright and sunny. protect your eyes (and skin), lads.
so now, i don't know what should i do. well, i want to find a job but i don't know where to start. well, being introvert and socially awkward simultaneously are not the best combination, i suppose. i'm just that bad in talking with people. like seriously. i stutter a lot. i have literally 1% self-confidence, or 2.5% if i'm lucky. other than that, meh. i really wish i can be a blogger as my profession. or fangirl. because that's what i do best, not interacting with people in real life.
i think that is it. i don't have anything to say. so long and good night *sings Helena by MCR* hahah good byeeeeeeeeee xx
Carpe Librum,
L.
Labels: 2015, favourite, friends, happiness, happy, life, school, thoughts
29. leaving high school.
written on Saturday, October 31, 2015 @ 10:31 PM ✈
just a reminder. this might be a very lengthy post (and a very emosh one). you do not have to read it if you do not want to. but BRACE YOURSELF.
do you know that feeling when you're reading, that you don't want to end the book but you need and dying to know what the ending is? i feel the same way about leaving high school. i admit that there comes the time when i could not wait to leave high school and be free from all the tension and pressure. but now that i come towards the end of it, i realise that i actually do not want this to end. i do not want to leave high school. i am not yet ready to face the so-called real world. okay, think about it. we are going to leave the same routine that we have been doing for almost 11 years. i think i might have some kind of a love hate relationship with school. because, let's be real. leaving homeworks. BIG YES. leaving friends (or people). NONONONONOOOOO.
i think the reason i do not want to leave high school is mainly because i do not want to leave people. i fear of being forgotten and forgetting. i hate it when i forget people because i know what is it like to be forgotten. we have been building friendships and relationships for almost 5 years. the scariest bit of leaving high school is that you do not know if those people you have been together with for 5 years are going to stay or just be gone. are they the one, or the one that got away? that is why people say, the end is the beginning. once we end high school, we begin to know who has God sent to us to stay in our life and the ones who are not. the ones who matter to us the most might be not that kind of person to us anymore.
i would want to post this on my instagram but the caption would be a never-ending scroll. also, i would love to do an appreciation post to all of the people that mean the most to me but that would be impossible to do so. instead, i just do a blog post instead.
to those who i knew since kindergarten or primary school, or the ones who i knew since the beginning of high school, the ones who i used to love or hate or both, the ones who i just got close to this year, the ones who i just got to know (in the last two weeks of school) although we have been in the same school for 5 years or less than that, the ones who i fangirl with, the ones who share the same interest as mine but i just know about it in the last week of school (ugh sucks), the ones who i usually look from a distance and do not have the guts to talk to, to the teacher who is like my best friend now, the ones who used to be my friend to acquaintances to stranger (or vice versa), the ones who i do not talk to anymore but i used to be close (and might have some of my secrets), even to those who i barely talk to (or never have i ever) and not to forget to those who i exchange glances and smiles once in a while.
there are a lot of other people who i would like to mention but i would need an eternity to do so. i hope those people who read this know who they are without me mentioning their name. i just want you to know that all of you matter to me. no matter if you are still in my life or not. our path crossed with reasons. God has written the story of our lives without flaws. God has sent all of you into my life and God has sent me into your lives, with reasons. either as a lesson or a blessing.
this may be too cheesy or it does not even matter to you. some of you might gag reading this because let's be real, we will move on from this and probably another year from now, it would not matter to us any longer. but i just want to talk about it as long as it is still matter to me. i want to embrace it as long as it is still in my mind. because it has become a part of my life and i cannot not talk about it. this is the story that i am going to tell to my child later. this is the story of my life and i do not want to forget it. as worse as it can get, it is still the best memory that i have and i will take it with me in the pocket of my mind wherever i go.
it does feel good though, leaving high school. no more homeworks. no more studying stuffs that we are not eager to know. no more assembly. no more having to wake up early. but leaving high school also means, no more seeing your best friends five days a week or maybe more. no more screaming your teacher's name and wouldn't stop talking about how beautiful she can get each day, everyday. no more stupid inside jokes with your friend while the teacher is teaching. no more gossips. no more creeping and fangirling to your crush. no more hiding your classmates' stuffs. no more copying your friend's homework. no more horror story-telling by your teacher. no more EVERYTHING. and that is sad. talking about this just can make me hear my heart breaking louder and clearer than before.
to the teachers, i could not thank you enough for your supports. all the sacrifices yet we still wouldn't listen to all of you. sorry for being such a nuisance. thanks for being our best friends, sisters, brothers, and parents in school. without all of you, i wouldn't be where i am right now.
and to my english teachers and all of my other teachers,
this is for all of you. thank you for giving me support and inspire me to get better and do better each day.
to the 2015's alumnus of smkpg, i am glad that we were born in the same year. i am sorry for all of my wrongdoings, either vaguely done or not. i could not thank all of you enough for entering my life. even the little things matter. probably your smile had made my day before. i may not have given all of you a lot to remember. and i cannot promise you that i won't forget you because at some point in my life, i might will. and you might forget me as well. but i hope to God that i won't. just remember that, at some point in my life, you guys are the reason that i am still here.
to the juniors, please behave. create more memories because you are guiding your own story. it will be something that you will remember in the little side of your mind. do not burden the teachers. do not be mad at the teachers when they scold you because they won't be mad at you for nothing. they are doing what they are doing because that is what they are supposed to do. appreciate them. thank them. love them. be good. be kind. and for the drama people next year, you can do better without having to be trees to win ;)
all in all, good luck for spm and i believe in all of us. we can do this. may the best batch succeed.
Carpe Librum,
L.
Labels: 2014, 2015, feelings, friends, happiness, life, memories, school, thoughts
26. Big Bad Wolf Johor.
written on Saturday, June 6, 2015 @ 3:56 PM ✈
before i could scream to myself, i know. i haven't been posting for quite awhile. but that is because i am just lazy. no reason needed. haish. futhermore, i have a lot to tell just too hard to put it into words. i am still stuck with my short stories and all. i think i have to start over a new one. i am feeling a little bit fantasy inspired haha idk.
but anyway, i went to Big Bad Wolf Book Sale last Tuesday i guess with my favourite little one {Amira Farain} hehe. first of all, it was a fun day. it was a real unexpected fun day. you know the day when you just plan what you are going to do but it turned out pretty awesome? yeah. THAT kind of day.
big bad wolf was awesome. i wish i could go there again but i am quite broke at the moment so HAH till then, see you next year mr wolfy *wipes tears dramatically* hahaha but seriously. it was amazing. i bought FOUR books for RM30 only! How crazy is that? normally, i could get only one book for RM30. Big Bad Wolf saved my life as i haven't been buying new books lately. but yay!
we fangirled like crazy people might think we escaped from the asylum or something...
all because of books.
yep.
after that, we went to JBCC because we planned to eat dinner outside. so we walked around together. and then, we bumped into these guys...
a day full of ma faves awh hahahaha oh yeah Amira and I were wearing the same sweater hehehe #twinning4lyf. okay back to the topic hahaha, well we knew that the guys were there and i was kinda hoping that we would meet or what. then, as we were window shopping, suddenly they came up to us. i guess you can say i was surprise i nearly had a heart attack. how very dramatic of me. but really though.
after that, we talked for awhile and took selfie {obviously!} for a bit and thennnnnnn i met my cousin. see what i mean? favourite people. Amira and I then went to Bath & Body Works. like always, we fangirled a lot. we smelt almost everything in the shop before my cousin came in and told me to pick anything cheap hahaha so i picked the Mad About You fragrance mist. hahaha. she paid for it though. thanks kak nadiiii <3
we went to dinner before we went home hehe it was seriously such a fun day. thanks to ma favourite people! i looooooooove you guys so much <3 i smiled the whole through writing this blog post. even thinking about it makes me happy. idk sometimes the simplest thing in life can actually make you happy. so do whatever you want, you might create great memories with it, right? so, why not? ;)
Carpe Librum,
L.
Labels: 2015, bbw, big bad wolf, book, family, favourite, feelings, friends, happiness, happy, memories
22. do more of what makes you happy
written on Friday, January 23, 2015 @ 6:30 PM ✈
of course i'm going to find a reason to use harry potter references for my blog post. duh.
hello. it is time for a new blog post yeahhh! i have enter the second week of school. things are getting more complicated and stressful. but there's nothing bad to complain, i guess? at least, on the bright side, i get to study. some other people are dying to get an education.
what a positive vibe that is. hahaha. and alsooooo, i went for an audition. FOR DRAMA. i have always wanted to be in a play. (theater sounds fun!) but before this, i don't get the chance to. but once, my English teacher told me to act out a scene from a drama that we studied (Gulp and Gasp), and i kinda nailed it. she then said that i should enter drama. so then i did. i took it as a challenge. and i'm glad that i did, because i got the part :D
during that audition, we need to partner up and have to make up a situation. FORTUNATELY, my partner is also a potterhead ._. the world is small, i know. and we couldn't think any situation. so i suggested us to do an improvisation for harry potter. i used my short fanfiction (that i'm currently writing). ooohh sneak peek! not going to tell what was it about, because then it will be a spoiler :P but we did it :) the teacher liked it. we both got the part. and coincidentally, the judge is my English teacher. and now, she refers me as the girl who acted out a scene from harry potter hahaha. niceeee. although it was short, she said that we did amazing. couldn't be happier. (despite the fact that i have found another potterhead) also, there wasn't so much people auditioning for drama. so, there were only four people who got the part. and only 4 girls who went to the audition.
AND THEN, my dearest (last year's) english teacher, she said that she suggested me for public speaking hahahahahahaha. me? speaking in front of people? spontaneously?? i'm screwed, i thought. but then to think about it, why not? it sure worth the try, right? so, i'm going for the audition next week. wish me luck! i have to give a speech about fame. i have already done writing the text. and i have practiced. but, most of the time i stutter. surprisingly, i did it today. less stuttering.
i think that maybe this is the way for me to find myself. what i'm actually capable of. other than writing. of course, drama is already a new whole level for me. and public speaking is totally out of my comfort zone. but if i stay where i am for the rest of my life, then i won't be improving. don't you think that we should try and change ourselves for the better? sometimes, changing isn't something really bad. SOMETIMES. also, i can add up my co-curriculum's mark. why not kill two birds with one stone? well, without the killing part for sure.
so what i'm telling you is, do more of what makes you happy. despite the fact that people will tease or whatever, but WHO THE HECK CARES? it's your life. if you want to tell your crush that you like her/him, do it anyways. if you want to go and create a blog, why not? fire away. if you want to eat chocolate, then eat. don't think about what people say. why do you want your life to depend on what people say? your life is worth more than what they say. create memories, because that's what lasts forever. not only you'll gain experience, but you, too, will become happier. do you want to ever think "why didn't i do that?" when you're older, just because of afraid to get judged by other people? you weren't born to please people. well, i know that i do that all the time. like for an example, i wanted to do a youtube video but i'm too scared that people will make fun of me. but who knows, after i be in drama, i have the courage to do one? right? it's always a step to another level. no matter how slow it is.
so, screw what other people think. do what you want to do. say what you want to say (not bad things). be what you want to be. as long as it makes you happy.
go. make a change. for the better cause. you live once a lifetime. <- ( a fancier version to say YOLO) :P
Carpe Librum,
L.
photo credit; WeHeartIt.
Labels: feelings, happiness, life, thoughts
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we live under the same sky
“To put away aimlessness and weakness, and to begin to think with purpose, is to enter the ranks of those strong ones who only recognize failure as one of the pathways to attainment; who make all conditions serve them, and who think strongly, attempt fearlessly, and accomplish masterfully.”
- James Allen Quotes
Sometimes I wonder how people see me and what they think of me. It scares me a bit, honestly. I am sure though, that what they think of me,
what they think my life is, is a complete misperception. I have always tried to show myself as a carefree person, as someone who wont get bothered
because of public judgements. I am sure my friend and family think there is nothing going wrong in my life, that I do not worry enough, that
I am always happy. And I am sure they probably somewhat hate me for it because, lets admit it, there is nothing worse than seeing someone
who is life seems so perfect while yours is a complete mess. Truth is, I have become an expert at pretending. I think we are all experts
or at least we are getting there.
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my sunshine
links exchanged opened! just tag me but link me first
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link
coming soon....
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