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41. back-to-school advice
written on Thursday, January 14, 2016 @ 11:17 PM
waddup? i'm back. i'm back. i am back with my so-called back to school advice(s). not to say that i am expert at this or what but this is based on what i learned during my whole life at school. but mind you that it might be going to be some kind of like high school's advices because i have to say that i cannot even remember what happened during my primary school hahaha. i need to fix my memories like seriously.

okay. i know all of you hate school to death that you wish you could burn the school down so you won't have to be attending it any longer. trust me, i felt the same way when i was in your place. we do all agree that school is tiring and all but when you have ended high school, you would want to go back to school. however, not because we miss homeworks or whatever that is related to studying. instead, we just miss being with our friends and having to meet them five times a week or even more. but when you have ended high school, you probably might not even get to see some of your friends because they are too busy to prepare for the real world.
okay, so here are some few advices that i could give to you. but that doesn't mean that i am saying that i am right. (but i am neither wrong). we are just entitled to our own opinion so...
1. when it comes to friend, you have to know and understand it really well that your friend that you have been sitting together with since the first year of school, won't be there standing by your side when you are graduating. but don't get me wrong. i am not saying all of you will be experiencing the same thing. but people come and people go. so you can't expect them to stay the same place where they are when they were at the beginning.
especially. ESPECIALLY. when you are entering the real high school, i.e, when you are entering the Fourth Form, which i had to say was the toughest year i ever been through during the whole high school year. that is when the whole things change. you probably won't be in the same class with your 'best friend forever' any longer. but not to worry because some of them that i know used to be friends with since day one, still be friends even though they are not in the same class any more. it just depends on how things work around you. if it is meant to be, it will be. and all you need to do is be prepared. don't be afraid to make a new friends. you might even want to start it now.
2. okay, i know most of you are starting to get into relationship during the high school year. at least that is what i am aware of. but you have to remember that your school years are going to be the year for you to be experimenting on this whole relationship thing. but you don't have to worry. it's not like you are pressured to be in a relationship or something. but what i do know is, no matter what. if that person is not treating you well, don't be afraid to leave that relationship to an end. it won't be the end of the world. you don't have to be in a relationship where you will have to think that you are not worth it. most of the nice people always went for the bad people to date with. you know why? i quote here from The Perks of Being a Wallflower, we accept the love we think we deserve. always know that, if someone that you are dating with is treating you badly, never think that you don't deserve him. instead, they are the ones who don't deserve you. be with the one who brings out the best in you.

however, it is just the beginning. because by the end of the school year it will all be a cringe-worthy story that you will remember any time. it will be a part of your history and that is how you learn to appreciate yourself and how to treat yourself better than other people do. and most importantly, do not be in a relationship with someone that you are forced into. it will never be a pretty ending to that. and mostly, it is totally not worth it. hey, this doesn't mean that you HAVE and MUST be in a relationship during high school. this is all just beginning. you will never know who will be waiting for you (and praying to God everyday) in the outside world.
3. i am blessed and grateful that during most of time in high school, i had the best teacher i could ever ask for. they are not just a teacher. they are like our mums and dads, sisters and brothers, and even best friends to me and my classmates. just remember that your teachers had sacrificed a lot of thing. despite the fact that some of them might have their kids waiting for them at home, they are still there ready to teach you. so, don't easily throw a hate on them when they are being angry or mad at you or something. they are mad at you probably because you did something wrong. so, never despise them just because they are being mad at you WITH a reason. unless, they are being mad all the time at you without a reason. then, there might be a problem on that.
4. as i said earlier, school years are the year where you are experimenting on stuffs. and for me, those were the years where i was trying to find myself. well, i guess i thought it was. because when you are in teenage years, you are mostly confused with yourself. because you are in the year where you just outgrow from your childhood and starting to be prepared with the adulthood which is pretty darn scary. and this is the stage where some of you will make some mistakes, big or small. and fear not, my friend. that is how you will learn. i mean it will always go back to the person itself. either they are going to learn from it or they are going to make the same mistake over and over because they thought that is just who they are. my advice is do not afraid to make mistake because at some point it is human for us to err.
but always remember that not all people will be facing the same thing at the same time. some might learn after they have ended the school and some might not. so whatever it is, we just need to be prepared for what is coming and just be strong and learn how to deal with it. mistakes that we did in the past don't define who we are in the future. all we need to do is just fix what we did wrong if possible or try to become better person than who we were yesterday.
5. don't be afraid to be yourself. because you are who you are and nobody is going to say that you are not. screw what other people say about you for doing thing that you love as long as it is not wrong to do it. people might throw some bad words and you and stuff, but never let it get you down. honey, you are standing at the main stage and those people who are throwing things at you are not in the same place where you are. if they are saying bad stuffs about you, they are most likely to be intimidated by you. so, stand tall. chin up. you are you and embrace it.
most important thing is to have fun. because you know what? most of the grown adults out there are dying to be in your place. yeah, yeah. i understand that waking up early is tiring and doing homework feels like it is a nuisance but there is a lot of other thing to be happy about. think about it, by the time you have ended your school year, you will be regretting those times that you have spent being sad over nothing instead of having fun with your friends that you might not see it again. if you have ever been given a choice to bawl your eyes out over your stupid boyfriend who never appreciates you or hanging out with your friends, choose to be happy. ALWAYS choose to be happy. because you will never know when will be the time you will be at your happiest again. at least when you are in your down moments, you still have something that can make you smile about.
6. i am not a bright student let alone the number one student in my school. i am just appear to be a fast learner at some things (mostly when it comes to things that are related to right-brain stuffs). but here are some advice about studying. first and foremost, never, ever ever ever ever ever choose the stream (for the fourth form) that you do not like. if you hate science, DO NOT EVER step in the science stream class even if your teacher forces you to be in it. you know yourself better. not your teacher. because in the end, it will just demotivate you in the end. just like me and additional mathematics. this is the only forced relationship that i have ever been into in my lifetime. i have to study the subject that i hate and i ended up not paying attention in most of my classes. lesson's learned. i am never going back to that dark alley again. ugh.
another tips that i can give you is to know what type of learners you are. some people are visual learners, auditory or kinaesthetics. and as for me, i am an auditory learner and the most unfortunate thing is i discovered about it in my fifth form. yikes. all of those times that i have spent studying went down to the trash because i didn't even remember a thing that i read. so i suggest you to google about it first because trust me, i am no expert at this.
all i know about visual learners are they can spend hours studying. and they usually use colours to make them remember better. they will take notes during classes and they usually read to remember stuffs.
i don't really know much about kinaesthetics but as far as i know is they can't stand hours long of studying but most of them appear to be smart. they will remember stuff quickly by doing experiments and exercises.
and as for the auditory learners like me, i was NEEDED to pay attention while in the class but i am not good at paying attention because my mind usually wandered of somewhere and i sometimes appear to be late at picking up things. i usually ended up laughing at a joke 15 seconds after people laugh. yep. but i find the solution to it as i almost ended my high school. as i am the big fan of youtube and the big hater of additional mathematics, one night i decided to search for a video that can learn with. and fortunately, there is this lovely human being that covers all of the topics. i could never be more thankful. i was starting to know some of things rather than have zero knowledge like i used to. so i suggest all of you, auditory learners to study on youtube. the channel is: Y=mx+c. good luck and have fun studying.
i guess that was all that i had to say. i guess. welp, i sure did learn a lot in high school. there might be more but i couldn't think of all of them. i am human. hahaha. also, mind you that all of these advices are based on my experience in high school. but yeah, i hope it helps to some of you. the next post will be my first #fangirlfriday which i am most excited about. hurrah to me lol. so, good luck with your life. and STAY IN SCHOOL, KIDS. STAY IN SCHOOL. aa guddbai.
also, i just received the news of alan rickman's death while i'm writing the post. still, we will ALWAYS remember you, professor snape *raises wand*
Carpe Librum,
L.
Labels: life, life lessons, school, thoughts
#30 - SPM IS OVER
written on Tuesday, December 8, 2015 @ 11:56 PM
okay so spm is over. now what?
to be honest, it is hard for me to fathom the fact that i have ended high school. whoa. time does fly, aye. thinking about the world outside school really gives me an eerie feeling. to think about it, i can barely handle the pressure in high school so how the *beep* am i going to handle the real world? but that is it. we have to face it, so then we can finally overcome our fear. am i right, or am i right? hahaha.
my spm ended on the 7th of December, which is a week later than the other students in my school. sucks, tell me about it. we had to learn that one particular subject throughout the whole week. we had no choice anyway. so i guess the last test went quite well? i don't even know because most of the time, my mind was filled with the thoughts of what am i going to do after the test, which is a lot of things. aaaaand i ended up doing nothing, just binge watching some youtube videos. what a life. i also have some books to read (when i said some, there are actually 8 books eagerly waiting to be read) yep. yep. i'm all about that books.
right after the test ended, my class teacher, along with my classmates and I went to have a somewhat picnic(?) i don't even know. what i do know is we had a lot of fun and food. food matters. being the 'normal' youth as we all are, we took tons of picture. so i'm just going to insert some of the pictures, if you excuse me.
i'm not going to upload all of the pictures though but yeah. most of us were squinting because it was too bright and sunny. protect your eyes (and skin), lads.
so now, i don't know what should i do. well, i want to find a job but i don't know where to start. well, being introvert and socially awkward simultaneously are not the best combination, i suppose. i'm just that bad in talking with people. like seriously. i stutter a lot. i have literally 1% self-confidence, or 2.5% if i'm lucky. other than that, meh. i really wish i can be a blogger as my profession. or fangirl. because that's what i do best, not interacting with people in real life.
i think that is it. i don't have anything to say. so long and good night *sings Helena by MCR* hahah good byeeeeeeeeee xx
Carpe Librum,
L.
Labels: 2015, favourite, friends, happiness, happy, life, school, thoughts
29. leaving high school.
written on Saturday, October 31, 2015 @ 10:31 PM
just a reminder. this might be a very lengthy post (and a very emosh one). you do not have to read it if you do not want to. but BRACE YOURSELF.
do you know that feeling when you're reading, that you don't want to end the book but you need and dying to know what the ending is? i feel the same way about leaving high school. i admit that there comes the time when i could not wait to leave high school and be free from all the tension and pressure. but now that i come towards the end of it, i realise that i actually do not want this to end. i do not want to leave high school. i am not yet ready to face the so-called real world. okay, think about it. we are going to leave the same routine that we have been doing for almost 11 years. i think i might have some kind of a love hate relationship with school. because, let's be real. leaving homeworks. BIG YES. leaving friends (or people). NONONONONOOOOO.
i think the reason i do not want to leave high school is mainly because i do not want to leave people. i fear of being forgotten and forgetting. i hate it when i forget people because i know what is it like to be forgotten. we have been building friendships and relationships for almost 5 years. the scariest bit of leaving high school is that you do not know if those people you have been together with for 5 years are going to stay or just be gone. are they the one, or the one that got away? that is why people say, the end is the beginning. once we end high school, we begin to know who has God sent to us to stay in our life and the ones who are not. the ones who matter to us the most might be not that kind of person to us anymore.
i would want to post this on my instagram but the caption would be a never-ending scroll. also, i would love to do an appreciation post to all of the people that mean the most to me but that would be impossible to do so. instead, i just do a blog post instead.

to those who i knew since kindergarten or primary school, or the ones who i knew since the beginning of high school, the ones who i used to love or hate or both, the ones who i just got close to this year, the ones who i just got to know (in the last two weeks of school) although we have been in the same school for 5 years or less than that, the ones who i fangirl with, the ones who share the same interest as mine but i just know about it in the last week of school (ugh sucks), the ones who i usually look from a distance and do not have the guts to talk to, to the teacher who is like my best friend now, the ones who used to be my friend to acquaintances to stranger (or vice versa), the ones who i do not talk to anymore but i used to be close (and might have some of my secrets), even to those who i barely talk to (or never have i ever) and not to forget to those who i exchange glances and smiles once in a while.
there are a lot of other people who i would like to mention but i would need an eternity to do so. i hope those people who read this know who they are without me mentioning their name. i just want you to know that all of you matter to me. no matter if you are still in my life or not. our path crossed with reasons. God has written the story of our lives without flaws. God has sent all of you into my life and God has sent me into your lives, with reasons. either as a lesson or a blessing.
this may be too cheesy or it does not even matter to you. some of you might gag reading this because let's be real, we will move on from this and probably another year from now, it would not matter to us any longer. but i just want to talk about it as long as it is still matter to me. i want to embrace it as long as it is still in my mind. because it has become a part of my life and i cannot not talk about it. this is the story that i am going to tell to my child later. this is the story of my life and i do not want to forget it. as worse as it can get, it is still the best memory that i have and i will take it with me in the pocket of my mind wherever i go.
it does feel good though, leaving high school. no more homeworks. no more studying stuffs that we are not eager to know. no more assembly. no more having to wake up early. but leaving high school also means, no more seeing your best friends five days a week or maybe more. no more screaming your teacher's name and wouldn't stop talking about how beautiful she can get each day, everyday. no more stupid inside jokes with your friend while the teacher is teaching. no more gossips. no more creeping and fangirling to your crush. no more hiding your classmates' stuffs. no more copying your friend's homework. no more horror story-telling by your teacher. no more EVERYTHING. and that is sad. talking about this just can make me hear my heart breaking louder and clearer than before.
to the teachers, i could not thank you enough for your supports. all the sacrifices yet we still wouldn't listen to all of you. sorry for being such a nuisance. thanks for being our best friends, sisters, brothers, and parents in school. without all of you, i wouldn't be where i am right now.
and to my english teachers and all of my other teachers,
this is for all of you. thank you for giving me support and inspire me to get better and do better each day.
to the 2015's alumnus of smkpg, i am glad that we were born in the same year. i am sorry for all of my wrongdoings, either vaguely done or not. i could not thank all of you enough for entering my life. even the little things matter. probably your smile had made my day before. i may not have given all of you a lot to remember. and i cannot promise you that i won't forget you because at some point in my life, i might will. and you might forget me as well. but i hope to God that i won't. just remember that, at some point in my life, you guys are the reason that i am still here.
to the juniors, please behave. create more memories because you are guiding your own story. it will be something that you will remember in the little side of your mind. do not burden the teachers. do not be mad at the teachers when they scold you because they won't be mad at you for nothing. they are doing what they are doing because that is what they are supposed to do. appreciate them. thank them. love them. be good. be kind. and for the drama people next year, you can do better without having to be trees to win ;)
all in all, good luck for spm and i believe in all of us. we can do this. may the best batch succeed.
Carpe Librum,
L.
Labels: 2014, 2015, feelings, friends, happiness, life, memories, school, thoughts
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41. back-to-school advice
written on Thursday, January 14, 2016 @ 11:17 PM ✈
waddup? i'm back. i'm back. i am back with my so-called back to school advice(s). not to say that i am expert at this or what but this is based on what i learned during my whole life at school. but mind you that it might be going to be some kind of like high school's advices because i have to say that i cannot even remember what happened during my primary school hahaha. i need to fix my memories like seriously.

okay. i know all of you hate school to death that you wish you could burn the school down so you won't have to be attending it any longer. trust me, i felt the same way when i was in your place. we do all agree that school is tiring and all but when you have ended high school, you would want to go back to school. however, not because we miss homeworks or whatever that is related to studying. instead, we just miss being with our friends and having to meet them five times a week or even more. but when you have ended high school, you probably might not even get to see some of your friends because they are too busy to prepare for the real world.
okay, so here are some few advices that i could give to you. but that doesn't mean that i am saying that i am right. (but i am neither wrong). we are just entitled to our own opinion so...
1. when it comes to friend, you have to know and understand it really well that your friend that you have been sitting together with since the first year of school, won't be there standing by your side when you are graduating. but don't get me wrong. i am not saying all of you will be experiencing the same thing. but people come and people go. so you can't expect them to stay the same place where they are when they were at the beginning.
especially. ESPECIALLY. when you are entering the real high school, i.e, when you are entering the Fourth Form, which i had to say was the toughest year i ever been through during the whole high school year. that is when the whole things change. you probably won't be in the same class with your 'best friend forever' any longer. but not to worry because some of them that i know used to be friends with since day one, still be friends even though they are not in the same class any more. it just depends on how things work around you. if it is meant to be, it will be. and all you need to do is be prepared. don't be afraid to make a new friends. you might even want to start it now.
2. okay, i know most of you are starting to get into relationship during the high school year. at least that is what i am aware of. but you have to remember that your school years are going to be the year for you to be experimenting on this whole relationship thing. but you don't have to worry. it's not like you are pressured to be in a relationship or something. but what i do know is, no matter what. if that person is not treating you well, don't be afraid to leave that relationship to an end. it won't be the end of the world. you don't have to be in a relationship where you will have to think that you are not worth it. most of the nice people always went for the bad people to date with. you know why? i quote here from The Perks of Being a Wallflower, we accept the love we think we deserve. always know that, if someone that you are dating with is treating you badly, never think that you don't deserve him. instead, they are the ones who don't deserve you. be with the one who brings out the best in you.

however, it is just the beginning. because by the end of the school year it will all be a cringe-worthy story that you will remember any time. it will be a part of your history and that is how you learn to appreciate yourself and how to treat yourself better than other people do. and most importantly, do not be in a relationship with someone that you are forced into. it will never be a pretty ending to that. and mostly, it is totally not worth it. hey, this doesn't mean that you HAVE and MUST be in a relationship during high school. this is all just beginning. you will never know who will be waiting for you (and praying to God everyday) in the outside world.
3. i am blessed and grateful that during most of time in high school, i had the best teacher i could ever ask for. they are not just a teacher. they are like our mums and dads, sisters and brothers, and even best friends to me and my classmates. just remember that your teachers had sacrificed a lot of thing. despite the fact that some of them might have their kids waiting for them at home, they are still there ready to teach you. so, don't easily throw a hate on them when they are being angry or mad at you or something. they are mad at you probably because you did something wrong. so, never despise them just because they are being mad at you WITH a reason. unless, they are being mad all the time at you without a reason. then, there might be a problem on that.
4. as i said earlier, school years are the year where you are experimenting on stuffs. and for me, those were the years where i was trying to find myself. well, i guess i thought it was. because when you are in teenage years, you are mostly confused with yourself. because you are in the year where you just outgrow from your childhood and starting to be prepared with the adulthood which is pretty darn scary. and this is the stage where some of you will make some mistakes, big or small. and fear not, my friend. that is how you will learn. i mean it will always go back to the person itself. either they are going to learn from it or they are going to make the same mistake over and over because they thought that is just who they are. my advice is do not afraid to make mistake because at some point it is human for us to err.
but always remember that not all people will be facing the same thing at the same time. some might learn after they have ended the school and some might not. so whatever it is, we just need to be prepared for what is coming and just be strong and learn how to deal with it. mistakes that we did in the past don't define who we are in the future. all we need to do is just fix what we did wrong if possible or try to become better person than who we were yesterday.
5. don't be afraid to be yourself. because you are who you are and nobody is going to say that you are not. screw what other people say about you for doing thing that you love as long as it is not wrong to do it. people might throw some bad words and you and stuff, but never let it get you down. honey, you are standing at the main stage and those people who are throwing things at you are not in the same place where you are. if they are saying bad stuffs about you, they are most likely to be intimidated by you. so, stand tall. chin up. you are you and embrace it.
most important thing is to have fun. because you know what? most of the grown adults out there are dying to be in your place. yeah, yeah. i understand that waking up early is tiring and doing homework feels like it is a nuisance but there is a lot of other thing to be happy about. think about it, by the time you have ended your school year, you will be regretting those times that you have spent being sad over nothing instead of having fun with your friends that you might not see it again. if you have ever been given a choice to bawl your eyes out over your stupid boyfriend who never appreciates you or hanging out with your friends, choose to be happy. ALWAYS choose to be happy. because you will never know when will be the time you will be at your happiest again. at least when you are in your down moments, you still have something that can make you smile about.
6. i am not a bright student let alone the number one student in my school. i am just appear to be a fast learner at some things (mostly when it comes to things that are related to right-brain stuffs). but here are some advice about studying. first and foremost, never, ever ever ever ever ever choose the stream (for the fourth form) that you do not like. if you hate science, DO NOT EVER step in the science stream class even if your teacher forces you to be in it. you know yourself better. not your teacher. because in the end, it will just demotivate you in the end. just like me and additional mathematics. this is the only forced relationship that i have ever been into in my lifetime. i have to study the subject that i hate and i ended up not paying attention in most of my classes. lesson's learned. i am never going back to that dark alley again. ugh.
another tips that i can give you is to know what type of learners you are. some people are visual learners, auditory or kinaesthetics. and as for me, i am an auditory learner and the most unfortunate thing is i discovered about it in my fifth form. yikes. all of those times that i have spent studying went down to the trash because i didn't even remember a thing that i read. so i suggest you to google about it first because trust me, i am no expert at this.
all i know about visual learners are they can spend hours studying. and they usually use colours to make them remember better. they will take notes during classes and they usually read to remember stuffs.
i don't really know much about kinaesthetics but as far as i know is they can't stand hours long of studying but most of them appear to be smart. they will remember stuff quickly by doing experiments and exercises.
and as for the auditory learners like me, i was NEEDED to pay attention while in the class but i am not good at paying attention because my mind usually wandered of somewhere and i sometimes appear to be late at picking up things. i usually ended up laughing at a joke 15 seconds after people laugh. yep. but i find the solution to it as i almost ended my high school. as i am the big fan of youtube and the big hater of additional mathematics, one night i decided to search for a video that can learn with. and fortunately, there is this lovely human being that covers all of the topics. i could never be more thankful. i was starting to know some of things rather than have zero knowledge like i used to. so i suggest all of you, auditory learners to study on youtube. the channel is: Y=mx+c. good luck and have fun studying.
i guess that was all that i had to say. i guess. welp, i sure did learn a lot in high school. there might be more but i couldn't think of all of them. i am human. hahaha. also, mind you that all of these advices are based on my experience in high school. but yeah, i hope it helps to some of you. the next post will be my first #fangirlfriday which i am most excited about. hurrah to me lol. so, good luck with your life. and STAY IN SCHOOL, KIDS. STAY IN SCHOOL. aa guddbai.
also, i just received the news of alan rickman's death while i'm writing the post. still, we will ALWAYS remember you, professor snape *raises wand*
Carpe Librum,
L.
Labels: life, life lessons, school, thoughts
#30 - SPM IS OVER
written on Tuesday, December 8, 2015 @ 11:56 PM ✈
okay so spm is over. now what?
to be honest, it is hard for me to fathom the fact that i have ended high school. whoa. time does fly, aye. thinking about the world outside school really gives me an eerie feeling. to think about it, i can barely handle the pressure in high school so how the *beep* am i going to handle the real world? but that is it. we have to face it, so then we can finally overcome our fear. am i right, or am i right? hahaha.
my spm ended on the 7th of December, which is a week later than the other students in my school. sucks, tell me about it. we had to learn that one particular subject throughout the whole week. we had no choice anyway. so i guess the last test went quite well? i don't even know because most of the time, my mind was filled with the thoughts of what am i going to do after the test, which is a lot of things. aaaaand i ended up doing nothing, just binge watching some youtube videos. what a life. i also have some books to read (when i said some, there are actually 8 books eagerly waiting to be read) yep. yep. i'm all about that books.
right after the test ended, my class teacher, along with my classmates and I went to have a somewhat picnic(?) i don't even know. what i do know is we had a lot of fun and food. food matters. being the 'normal' youth as we all are, we took tons of picture. so i'm just going to insert some of the pictures, if you excuse me.
i'm not going to upload all of the pictures though but yeah. most of us were squinting because it was too bright and sunny. protect your eyes (and skin), lads.
so now, i don't know what should i do. well, i want to find a job but i don't know where to start. well, being introvert and socially awkward simultaneously are not the best combination, i suppose. i'm just that bad in talking with people. like seriously. i stutter a lot. i have literally 1% self-confidence, or 2.5% if i'm lucky. other than that, meh. i really wish i can be a blogger as my profession. or fangirl. because that's what i do best, not interacting with people in real life.
i think that is it. i don't have anything to say. so long and good night *sings Helena by MCR* hahah good byeeeeeeeeee xx
Carpe Librum,
L.
Labels: 2015, favourite, friends, happiness, happy, life, school, thoughts
29. leaving high school.
written on Saturday, October 31, 2015 @ 10:31 PM ✈
just a reminder. this might be a very lengthy post (and a very emosh one). you do not have to read it if you do not want to. but BRACE YOURSELF.
do you know that feeling when you're reading, that you don't want to end the book but you need and dying to know what the ending is? i feel the same way about leaving high school. i admit that there comes the time when i could not wait to leave high school and be free from all the tension and pressure. but now that i come towards the end of it, i realise that i actually do not want this to end. i do not want to leave high school. i am not yet ready to face the so-called real world. okay, think about it. we are going to leave the same routine that we have been doing for almost 11 years. i think i might have some kind of a love hate relationship with school. because, let's be real. leaving homeworks. BIG YES. leaving friends (or people). NONONONONOOOOO.
i think the reason i do not want to leave high school is mainly because i do not want to leave people. i fear of being forgotten and forgetting. i hate it when i forget people because i know what is it like to be forgotten. we have been building friendships and relationships for almost 5 years. the scariest bit of leaving high school is that you do not know if those people you have been together with for 5 years are going to stay or just be gone. are they the one, or the one that got away? that is why people say, the end is the beginning. once we end high school, we begin to know who has God sent to us to stay in our life and the ones who are not. the ones who matter to us the most might be not that kind of person to us anymore.
i would want to post this on my instagram but the caption would be a never-ending scroll. also, i would love to do an appreciation post to all of the people that mean the most to me but that would be impossible to do so. instead, i just do a blog post instead.

to those who i knew since kindergarten or primary school, or the ones who i knew since the beginning of high school, the ones who i used to love or hate or both, the ones who i just got close to this year, the ones who i just got to know (in the last two weeks of school) although we have been in the same school for 5 years or less than that, the ones who i fangirl with, the ones who share the same interest as mine but i just know about it in the last week of school (ugh sucks), the ones who i usually look from a distance and do not have the guts to talk to, to the teacher who is like my best friend now, the ones who used to be my friend to acquaintances to stranger (or vice versa), the ones who i do not talk to anymore but i used to be close (and might have some of my secrets), even to those who i barely talk to (or never have i ever) and not to forget to those who i exchange glances and smiles once in a while.
there are a lot of other people who i would like to mention but i would need an eternity to do so. i hope those people who read this know who they are without me mentioning their name. i just want you to know that all of you matter to me. no matter if you are still in my life or not. our path crossed with reasons. God has written the story of our lives without flaws. God has sent all of you into my life and God has sent me into your lives, with reasons. either as a lesson or a blessing.
this may be too cheesy or it does not even matter to you. some of you might gag reading this because let's be real, we will move on from this and probably another year from now, it would not matter to us any longer. but i just want to talk about it as long as it is still matter to me. i want to embrace it as long as it is still in my mind. because it has become a part of my life and i cannot not talk about it. this is the story that i am going to tell to my child later. this is the story of my life and i do not want to forget it. as worse as it can get, it is still the best memory that i have and i will take it with me in the pocket of my mind wherever i go.
it does feel good though, leaving high school. no more homeworks. no more studying stuffs that we are not eager to know. no more assembly. no more having to wake up early. but leaving high school also means, no more seeing your best friends five days a week or maybe more. no more screaming your teacher's name and wouldn't stop talking about how beautiful she can get each day, everyday. no more stupid inside jokes with your friend while the teacher is teaching. no more gossips. no more creeping and fangirling to your crush. no more hiding your classmates' stuffs. no more copying your friend's homework. no more horror story-telling by your teacher. no more EVERYTHING. and that is sad. talking about this just can make me hear my heart breaking louder and clearer than before.
to the teachers, i could not thank you enough for your supports. all the sacrifices yet we still wouldn't listen to all of you. sorry for being such a nuisance. thanks for being our best friends, sisters, brothers, and parents in school. without all of you, i wouldn't be where i am right now.
and to my english teachers and all of my other teachers,
this is for all of you. thank you for giving me support and inspire me to get better and do better each day.
to the 2015's alumnus of smkpg, i am glad that we were born in the same year. i am sorry for all of my wrongdoings, either vaguely done or not. i could not thank all of you enough for entering my life. even the little things matter. probably your smile had made my day before. i may not have given all of you a lot to remember. and i cannot promise you that i won't forget you because at some point in my life, i might will. and you might forget me as well. but i hope to God that i won't. just remember that, at some point in my life, you guys are the reason that i am still here.
to the juniors, please behave. create more memories because you are guiding your own story. it will be something that you will remember in the little side of your mind. do not burden the teachers. do not be mad at the teachers when they scold you because they won't be mad at you for nothing. they are doing what they are doing because that is what they are supposed to do. appreciate them. thank them. love them. be good. be kind. and for the drama people next year, you can do better without having to be trees to win ;)
all in all, good luck for spm and i believe in all of us. we can do this. may the best batch succeed.
Carpe Librum,
L.
Labels: 2014, 2015, feelings, friends, happiness, life, memories, school, thoughts
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we live under the same sky
“To put away aimlessness and weakness, and to begin to think with purpose, is to enter the ranks of those strong ones who only recognize failure as one of the pathways to attainment; who make all conditions serve them, and who think strongly, attempt fearlessly, and accomplish masterfully.”
- James Allen Quotes
Sometimes I wonder how people see me and what they think of me. It scares me a bit, honestly. I am sure though, that what they think of me,
what they think my life is, is a complete misperception. I have always tried to show myself as a carefree person, as someone who wont get bothered
because of public judgements. I am sure my friend and family think there is nothing going wrong in my life, that I do not worry enough, that
I am always happy. And I am sure they probably somewhat hate me for it because, lets admit it, there is nothing worse than seeing someone
who is life seems so perfect while yours is a complete mess. Truth is, I have become an expert at pretending. I think we are all experts
or at least we are getting there.
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my sunshine
links exchanged opened! just tag me but link me first
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link
coming soon....
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