apparently, 18 years ago from today, i was born. aha. yep. today is my birthday. weirdly i like my birth date because i found it quite hard to find somebody with a same birth date as mine. so, i think that maybe i should write a short post. mediocre short post. i cannot guarantee anything about how long this post gonna be. well then, i better start it right now.
so, here you go. 18 things i learned in life;
1. if someone doesn't appreciate you or treat you like you deserve to be treated, they are not worth the hurt, the pain and the heartbreak.
2. you make mistake because you are a human. it is normal for human to err.
3. make sure when you decided to walk out of someone's life, do not turn back around.
4. love your parents. they may not understand you all the time, but they will always be there to love you.
5. if someone say that they want you, be sure that they show it. not just say it.
6. don't let your past define who you are now.
7. if your best friend doesn't like your partner, there must be something wrong. you see what you want to see; and that will cover up all the flaws.
8. true friends will accept for who you are and never will judge you by your past.
9. friends fight, that's that. but true friends will always come back.
10. not everyone wants to hear about your problem, let alone care about it. try not to someone solve your problem for you. just let them be just the listener.
11. try to do new things. step out of your comfort zone. that's how you find yourself.
12. if you want something, work for it. people aren't born talented, honey. they work for it.
13. sometimes, even though you do your best, it is still not enough for someone else. so take the matters of your own hand. do not depend on someone else too much.
14. when you are promised or convinced with something, always expect for the least. it is hard to find someone who keep their promises.
15. do not let someone else be your happiness, they will always break it.
16. people's definitions of beautiful are different. if they tell you that you are ugly, someone else might see you like you are the most beautiful thing in the world.
17. people often sugarcoat things. so do not rely on the bright side. be prepared for the bitter.
18. it's quite flattering for someone to have a crush on you. but remember, being somebody's crush means that they like you for what they see. go for someone who has seen all the sides of you, and still want you for who you are.
god, that is all. i feel like there's a lot of other things that i want to point out but i have limited into 18. this is just what i learned. doesn't mean i'm right though. this is just how i feel. i haven't been living for a long time. i still do have something more to learn about. toodles~
hey guyssss! here i am laying down on my bed in front my laptop, typing away some words into a full on sentence which i hope does make sense since it is like 10 minutes past 12 in the midnight. yeah, i put my blog post on schedule because i am THAT dedicated. i don't know why but i have the feeling that i have the need to talk about my favourite songs.
okay here's a thing. somehow, i find that one of the hardest question or one of a question with an infinite answer is "what is your favourite song?" and most of the time, i will just tell them about my current favourite song. it is impossible for me to answer an instant i have been questioned that question. i think i might have to sit down for a few days and write down all the songs that i love. then, i will be coming up to you with what-it-seems-like-a-harry-potter-and-the-order-of-the-phoenix but it is not. it is just as thick as that and when you read it, you will find that it is actually a list of my favourite songs.
however, in this post i won't be only talking about the songs that i love. but these are the songs that actually speaks for me. and you will find that most of the songs are actually instrumental and it is accurate. because sometimes, not even words can describe what do you feel inside, right? the songs that i will be giving out mostly have the lyrics that i found that even myself, can barely decipher thoroughly into it. instead, it will just end up with me thinking about that sing even more, trying to find and understand the lyrics, or what the story behind it. long story short, these are the songs that the lyrics or just the musics haunt me for ever.
and now that i have the song listed on my brain, i just realised that almost all of the songs are the only song that i heard and loved by a singer/band that i am not that obsessed with. (does this make sense?) and being the band obsessed as i am, i find that it is hard for me to choose only ONE SONG that i love from that band. that is just impossible. so none of the song that will be listed are from the bands or singer that i am obsessed with.
this song is just pure perfection. i find that this song gives me a roller coaster emotion. it starts of slow and in the middle it just blew me away. this is the song that gets me to dance although i am not a dancer; even terrible at it. it just hits me in the right place. oohhh, and fun fact, this song is in the movie Insidious. i was actually trying to find the song that Renee was singing with the piano and found this one instead. it is in the scene where they have moved into a new house and found somebody changing the song to Tiptoe Through The Tulips and dancing to it. it was the song before that.
well, this one, also was a main theme from a movie Requiem for a Dream. the story behind this happened recently actually. i was looking at the synthesia thing on youtube, because i was obsessed with piano instrumental at the moment. and then, i saw in the recommended section but it was entitled Requiem of a Dream and i was attracted by the title. and when the song started, i knew by that moment, i was screwed. just like Nuvole Bianche, the song starts of slow and in the middle of it, it just caused a riot in my heart. and there was this one time when i was listening to the full original version of it, not the piano instrumental version, when i was in the mall with my family. and in the piano instrumental, it wasn't a full version. so when i started to listen to the full original version of it, in the mall, i got chills and i was just starstrucked by it. and i just had to watch the movie which i find it quite interesting. not my favourite but it is a nice movie. i ended up in tears which i always do, so no surprise.
okay, this one actually i don't know what's the title because i found it on dance moms. it just happened to be the song from my most favourite group routine.; runaway/children with guns. when i rewatch the sow, i was mad because in the show they didn't really use the title children with guns and they didn't include the newscast. and i am super annoyed because the dance routine is just amazing and the story behind it just ahhhh. YOU MUST WATCH IT. i just love it so much i don't know why. but i am going to leave a video here.
okay, i just gotta save the best instrumental for the last. i discovered this song from the game Life is Strange that i watched Jacksepticeye playing. it is just amazing. i love the game, i love the soundtrack especially this one. because they used this song when Max listened to the voice mail that Nathan sent to her. and it just breaks me inside. it still does. that is like the part that all part of me shattered into pieces. HEARTBREAKING AF.
and here goes the song that is not instrumental lol
this song was also from dance moms. when i listened to this song while watching the dance routine. all i'm thing about is WHAT IS THIS ALL ABOUT???? i nearly cry every time i watch the dance routine. the lyrics is just simple but there is a whole lot meaning to it and i cannot interpret it which is disappointing for me. but all in all, i feel like the singer, is so underrated. and i have heard most of the song by them and it is actually good??? but i don't think anybody will know who they are which is very sad because they have like very good musics. thank God for dance moms. oh and also, the song was also from my favourite dance routine. so i'm gonna leave the video here for you to watch.
here is another song that i am grateful that i have mobile data and downloaded shazam because i heard this song was playing in the mall, so i just had to Shazam it. and i looked like an idiot because the volume was very low so it is hard to Shazam, then i had to raise my phone up in the air so it could detect the song. luckily, it did its job. i would be miserable if i can't find it. but to be exact, i only heard the music, not the lyrics. but when i search for the lyrics, i was like DAMN GIRL WHAT IS THISSSS. the lyrics to it just opened up my eyes and heart and mind.
i found this song from the awesomenesstv series with amanda steele on it called guidance. and in the second episode of it, if i am not mistaken, the counsellor interviewed a guy, i don't know what their relationship were. but this song started to play when they guy saw the girl dancing. when i listened to the lyrics thoroughly, i just... felt connected to it. it is so damn accurate??? but the lyrics are pretty self-explanatory. but the meaning just got me like... that explains me in a love life at that moment? aha. don't judge me.
the story about how i discover this song is pretty darn cute actually. i follow this poetry account (@wasitw0rtit) on instagram. and one day, the owner decided to make like a playlist based on each letter of our name. all we had to do was leave our name and our favourite genre. and she dm-ed me a picture of my name and the songs, which i didn't thought she would do because DAMN there was a lot of people who commented on that picture. so yeah, and one of which was this song that got me attached to it. the lyrics are very poetic, and i don't know. it is just beautiful. this song is just beautiful. i feel calm whenever listen to this song.
i didn't actually just found this actual song. i actually found the band when i was listening to other song. and then i saw someone uploaded the whole album of the band and i listened to it. i am attracted to the video because of the band's name. (Copeland is Kellin Quinn's daughter's name.)i like them. but i am not obsessed with them. but at that moment i was just trying to find a new song to listen to. so i try to listen every single one of the song from that band. and at last, i am only attached to this one song until now :)
i don't quite remember how did i find this song but what i remember was, as soon as i clicked on this song, i heard a very beautiful guitar arrangement in the beginning of the song. so then, i get the hang of it. until the end of the song. and that find that song just speaks to me at that moment. the words used in that songs just blew me away. and there was this one lyric that just makes me realise that, there's no way that there will be other song who describe it than this song can. i don't know. i just feel that the lyrics just hit in the right place. and i, even used some of the lyrics in my SPM Essay which you will find in my writings section in this blog <-- shameless self promoting.
there's a degree of difficulty in dealing with me.
this song is just plain big question mark. i am so curious about the story behind it. what the lyrics meant. it just left me thinking a lot. every lyrics just stuck in my head. i can't get away from the curiousity. every time i listen to this song, i feel like i can relate to it but i don't know which part of the lyrics. so yeah. that is freaking haunting now, does it? but somebody interpret it as the couple broke up because one of them cannot follow up with one of the partner's life as s/he is a celebrity? stars and boulevards? i don't know. all i know is just i love it.
look out, they're coming after us with big guns.
they're only gonna tell you all the bad things i've done.
even if the words they say aren't truth, they've won.
THIS SONG IS MY MOST FAVOURITE. i can't even describe how much i love this song. this song is me in a song. when people ask me to describe myself in song, i would give them this song. every lyrics of it. i found this song when i'm trying to find the song from Sala Samabojcow (Suicide Room) <-- one of my favourite song. then i found this song instead even though this song is not the soundtrack of the movie. gurllll, it's the soundtrack of me, i tell you. hahaha. and they don't even have the music video, somebody just make an edit of this song and the movie suicide room. it is so relatable. i don't know how to put it into words. really.
GOTTA SAVE THE BEST FOR THE LAST OKAYYYY THIS SONG IS MY MOST FAVOURITE SONG AS WELL. this is the first and strange is also the first. get it? both are my first most favourite. drew monson, if any of you who did not know (how dare you) is actually a youtuber. and my favourite as well. he is a friend of shane dawson. you might want to look drew's channel like i'm not even kidding. he is amazing. he is hilarious. just search mytoecold on youtube and binge watch it.
at first, i didn't even know he can sing or has a singing channel. i just found it when i saw his My Youtube Drama video. in the end of the video, he played piano and i was completely starstrucked by it. he just played it so effortlessly yet still so beautiful. so i just read the comments and found out his singing channel: thepophefakes. and i am grateful for it. his songs are beautiful. please listen to it. he is like lowkey musically talented. i am so sad that he doesn't get the attention that he deserved to get. the lyrics to this song is just completely moving. he also made a video about the song. what the lyrics meant. and you have to watch it as well. it is the most crucial part. because when i first listen to it, i don't really understand the song. but when i watched the video, i get the whole meaning of it and i am just so in love with it.
[i don't even know which lyrics are my favourite bcs they are all good af]
and that's it. that is my favourite song. funny thing is, i just realised that most of the songs that i've listed are just so underrated. when i try to find a quote or chords form the song, i couldn't find it anywhere. by the way, these are not the only song that i listened to. i listened to a lot of songs. mostly by bands. i listened to pierce the veil, panic!at the disco, of monsters and men, paramore, fall out boys, my chemical romance. and i love all of their songs. but i just feel like it's not fair for me to pick only one song from the band as my favourite because there is a lot of songs that i equally love. so... yeah. anyway, this post took me two hours to write. aha. this is why i like to put my post on schedule so i won't get carried away by writing the post. so yeah, i hope any of you who reads this, listen to it and like it? i don't know. i feel like my music taste is different from all of my friends.
hello everybody~ how are you? good? good. no? i'm sorry. but whatever it is, i though i'd make another midnight posts because i like to ramble a lot during midnight, apparently aha. so yeah. also, i think i might change the way i post things. to be honest, i don't feel very enthusiast with my fangirl friday. i mean, i do love to talk about them, but i feel like it's limited with words. so i think i might cut that off. i don't know about friday i'm in love, but i'll try make it happen because i have to post once a month anyway. so yeah, there's that.
but yeah, since it's valentine's day yesterday, we're gonna talk about love, shall we? how ironic. nothing specific, just random. as that is what i do best. i don't celebrate valentine's day, but that doesn't mean i am not allowed to talk about love, right? so, to those who celebrate, happy valentine's day ♥ oh and mind you that i am having the worst headaches/migraine in the world <-- i'm just exaggerating, it's not the worst but it hurts quite a lot. so if anything that i will be saying in a couple of minute doesn't make sense, do apologise.
gotta have harry potter reference in any post possible aha
so, love. i don't know what to talk about really. back in the old days, i was a naive, "innocent" teenager who thought that i was matured. pffft. honestly, i cringe every time i think of that phase of mine. ew. i really thought that i have to be committed in every relationship that i was in. like i felt the need to be the best girlfriend of the year probably. and my goal was to be in a relationship more than a year or something and i achieved that, props to me. not. however, everything went down to waste. what a naive girl i was. little did i know, a few years later i will be the ultimate heartless bitch who couldn't care less about not having a boyfriend. in fact, i saviour every moment of it. seriously, if you are single, embrace it because you have at least one less problem to care about.
but it is not like i am anti-love or something like that, but i feel like "yeah whatever" when i think about relationship. i still have a crush and all (let's not talk about that). all i am thinking right now is my fictional boyfriends, books, and food. ah good ol' days.
once, i read a quote somewhere from twitter. it said, "love is a feeling, not a decision." and i used to agree with that. that love is a feeling; not a decision. but then, i stumbled upon a tweet about it. and it said, love is a decision after all. and since that day, my whole point of view has changed and let me tell you why.
feelings fade. no matter how hard you try to keep that feeling, at some point in your life you will find you don't love that person any longer, get bored or maybe outgrew from them. and it is true. i may have experienced it or i may not. so i think if you are moving on, it is just a matter of time that you will grew apart from that person. and what will remain is the memory that will cause you a problem. because whenever you miss someone, you will always come back to the memories that you had with them. you don't necessarily go to that person and tell them that you miss them. NOT REALLY. so if you are moving on, don't let the memory hang on the back of your mind. let the memory go, eventually you will let the person go as well.
you might think that what the freakin hell do you mean that love is a decision? how the hell do you decide that you love someone. okay, see. the thing is, as i said earlier that feelings fade, so all that's left for you is a choice. a decision for you to choose. you choose to love that person. you choose to be that person all over again. okay, this one, i don't mean for you to choose over a person again and again if they have cheated on you. nope. certainly do not. instead, i mean it in the way, i will choose you no matter how hard it is to be with you. for example, your partner have like a financial problems to deal with, but you are still there with them instead of dumping them. that is what i mean. we choose to love someone. even if we are mad at them. we choose to forgive them. not to stop loving them.
god, i feel like an old lady talking about this. but yeah, this is what i mean by love is a decision. indeed it is.
on the other hand, i find that most of us will usually end up with someone that doesn't appreciate us, but we love them any ways. do you get what i mean? yeah, that. the only reason to that is we accept the love we think we deserve. okay, now listen. if you can't be yourself whenever you are around them, they might not be the one. the person who loves us will always be the one who brings out the best version of ourselves. and that is how you become happy for being in a relationship with someone. but remember that to not be afraid to have a fight in a relationship because it is totally normal. i used to think that a happy relationship is a couple who never had a fight. i was wrong, really. however, i certainly do not mean a fight where one of you beating each other. that is abuse. if you are facing that, leave them.
my definition of soulmate is probably a person who can accept me how weird i am and do not bother to change the fact that i am just born as a weirdo. a person who i totally don't mind if i haven't been taling to for a long time, but when you talk to them after a long time, it feels like you haven't been missing a day of not talking them (does that make sense?). kinda like when we are with our best friends. you don't always have to talk to them to know that you are their friends, you just know that they are always there. a person who is a complete opposite of me. fire+fire=more fire. right? i always imagine that because i love to write, my partner will be the one who loves to read. so there, we can complete each other. but you know, people always said that if a fangirl likes you, then you are a lucky person. because fangirl has a quite high standard. and i find that, it is true hahaha. so, i think maybe i'd rather be in a relationship with a fictional characters rather than being in love with the wrong person.
i think i totally went all out about love hahaha. but yeah, don't worry if you are single. the best is yet to come. God saves the best for the last. have fun. there's nothing to worry about. fate has been written for you, just pray for the best. we are all created in pairs, aren't we? so, no worries. you still have your friends. saviour this moment as you are still single. once you are married, there will be barely any time for you to have a pamper evening, hang out with your friends. so no need the rush. be cool about it.
lol i am just saying this, but my heart is utterly broken because i will always be fanzoned by my favourite youtubers or i will never ever date my fictional boyfriend :(
weirdo.
so anyway, that is all i have to talk about love. what a post. i literally just mixed everything up in one post over a same topic. but yeah, i love you lots. oh and just a disclaimer, if you don't agree with me, i'm sorry. this is just my opinion. i am certainly NOT a love expert or something. i talk based on my experience.
i know all of you are, indeed, a very nice person. you feel obligated to make other people feel good about themselves. so, just like how we usually do, we compliment each other. but there is one thing that bugs me A LOT. i mean there is nothing wrong if you want to compliment each other. but there are WAYS to do it. and one of them is...
DO NOT BRING OTHER PEOPLE DOWN TO MAKE OTHERS FEEL BETTER.
for an example;
"curvy girls are better than skinny girls."
"you are beautiful if you don't have thigh gap."
"you are better than her. she is ugly."
"have you seen yourself inside the mirror? at least she's skinny."
"don't worry about it. she's stupid unlike you."
?????????
um, i mean... how does that can make other people feel better? probably, there sure are people actually do but not to me at least. why do you think it is appropriate for you to offend people to make other people feel good about themselves? not to say that i am such an angel. in fact, i, too, sometimes probably do that. guess what? i am flawed. but i have been trying to teach myself to keep the bad only to myself.
i know you do not mean it that way. we do not usually realise that some things that we have said can be hurtful towards others. that is why, it is crucial for us to think before saying something. because most of the times, everything sounds better in our head before we say it out loud.
it is just the same when your parents compare you to other kids. except of course, that is less obvious. most of you hate that, yes? so does in this situation or any other situation. comparing other people by offending is never a good idea. just like when we compare two rocks. they are rocks. yes. but are they in the same shape? no. just like us, we are different in all sort of ways either clearly be seen or vice versa. okay so now i am comparing you guys to a rock, because you guys' hearts are hard like a rock, you heartless bish sorry.
i know some of you will say "but s/he's a bad person. s/he deserves it." honey, no matter how bad mannered that person is, they don't deserve to be treated that way. nobody does. i always believe that we have to be nice to people even if they are not nice to you . (lame, i know.) but how can we make this world a better place if we keep hurting each other (physically, mentally or emotionally)? i know it's hard. but we are all still trying. nothing is easy right? people might not treat you as nice as you treat them, but hey? what do we have to lose? nothing. being good doesn't make us lose anything. in the end, we are a part of a good in the society at the very least. and that is very much needed these days.
all in all, it all worth a try. always be kind. of course you can compliment each other without offending people. or maybe we can just try to learn not to judge people.
"curvy girls are better than skinny girls."
curvy or not, you are still beautiful.
"you are beautiful if you don't have thigh gap."
do you have thigh gap? cool.
you don't have thigh gap? also cool.
"you are better than her. she is ugly."
you don't have to be better than her, you are you.
just be you, that's enough.
you have your own kind of beauty.
"have you seen yourself inside the mirror? at least she's skinny."
have you looked into the mirror?
that is one masterpiece that God has created.
"don't worry about it. she's stupid unlike you."
you think you are stupid?
my love, your intelligence shouldn't be measured by your grade.
also, we all have different things that we are all good at.
it is hard, i do realise that. but i am not telling you to change overnight. just try a little bit at a time. not drastically. hard as it may seem, you will see the good results by the end of it. and never, never ever forget to say sorry if you did something wrong. we all make mistake. we are all merely humans. that is it, i am hoping that i have opened your mind or at least make you realise something about this post and try to make a change. i do not mind if you do not agree with me but this is just my opinion and my thoughts that i decided to put it into words without offending other people. i would like to apologise if i hurt other people with my words or ever be mean to.
remember, the world that we are living in has already enough of unkind people in it. a little bit of good people in it surely wouldn't hurt as much as killing people :)
hola guys. update time! whew. yes, i am updating my blog on a school night cause i was ever feeling so inspired hahaha. i have nothing better to do, i guess?
don't ask me why but i'm feeling like listing all of the lessons that i have learnt during my 17 years of living. well, probably not all though. maybe just some of the things that cross my mind. first things first.
DO NOT MAKE SOMEBODY ELSE YOUR HAPPINESS. DO NOT, EVER. do not put somebody else first before yourself. people will leave you eventually. doesn't matter if they leave you on purpose or not. you can never guarantee that people will stay forever. even if they will, death will do us apart. trust me, i have been there (not that somebody died). and that is the worst thing i have ever done. it is like the most self-destructive thing to do to yourself. always, always put God first. God will always be with you. His existence is permanent. do not give all you have to other people. not that you can give them anything at all, but probably just 50% or 80% of it. never 100%. never. NOT EVERYONE WILL SEE YOUR EFFORT. whenever you do something for other people, always do it with sincerity. not because you want them to appreciate your effort. because sometimes, if you do it for the sake of the attention of the wrong person, no matter how big your effort is, they won't see it. they will be blinded by other stuffs. but that doesn't mean you have to stop showing your efforts. just don't do it for the sake of attention or to be noticed. YOUR PROBLEMS AREN'T SOMEBODY ELSE'S PROBLEM.
the thing is, yes, sometimes we feel like we want to pour our hearts out and tell our friends or boyfriend about our problems. well, what you really should know that not all of us want to know about your problems. because we all have our own. somehow we just need someone to listen to. just make sure that someone really cares. but don't rely on them because not all of us can help you. maybe we can be just the place for you to pour your heart out. not to fix your problems. YOU WILL LOSE CERTAIN PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE.
doesn't matter if it's your family or friends, it not not possible not to lose certain people in your life. they may promise you forever, but how long is forever if we can only live until only-God-knows-when? don't trust people who promise to love you forever. trust people who promise to love you until they don't anymore. it might sounds very scary but that's what i think is the truth. don't you?
YOU WILL CHANGE MULTIPLE TIMES you will change multiple times through your life. but that's okay. doesn't matter if people can't accept you. if they can't accept you, what makes you think that they are the right ones in your life? it is your life. you may change into good or bad people. either way. doesn't matter how bad you will be, you won't be bad forever. because at some point in your life, you are going to realise that you have done a mistake. so what? change and be it. you are both of your good or dark side. you are your mistake. but how can we live without making a mistake? YOU WILL END UP BEING THE PERSON YOU SAID YOU WON'T BE you will. that's why we can't really judge people. because we will never know what awaits us in the future. people make mistake. so do we. the only difference is what our mistake is. we are all sinners but with different sins. don't hate people because they are a sinner. instead, hate the sin itself.
WE MAKE MISTAKE AND WE LEARN FROM IT well maybe sometimes we make the same mistake over and over again until we realise that we are making a mistake. so what? learn from it. most of the times we will make mistake multiple times. so what we need to do is learn from it. and fix it. learn from what we have done wrong. sometimes we even realise that we are doing the same mistake and still do. but that's just how it goes. eventually, you will outgrow of it.
PEOPLE WILL JUDGE YOU NO MATTER WHAT so do whatever you think is best for you. and be happy because you do. don't listen to what others think or say. they are not you. they don't have control over your life. you weren't born to please other people. you have to make yourself happy. because you are the one who is going to feel what you feel. you are the one who is going to face what you are going to face later on. so screw other people's judgement. you don't want to think about the thing you haven't done for the next 30 years or so because you were to afraid what people might think of you, right? doesn't matter if it didn't turn out well, at least you did it.
just a reminder; this is what I have learnt throughout my life. doesn't mean it's right though. just my opinion. idgaf if you do not agree with me.
at first, i wanted to make a challenge then i decided not to because i am not very dedicated lol. i didn't plan to make this blog post about this tv shows called Dance Moms, but then, i feel like i wanted to. i have seen this shows since season 1 but stopped at season 3 last year(?) because malaysia's lifetime has stopped showing them idk why. so i started to watch the season 4 back this past two days online. i finished it ni two days. yep. but i still don't have the chance to catch up on the new season. i have cried and laughed and be mad for this two days (which makes me realise that i have became more sensitive than before). so this show is about a group of girls who dance at ALDC (Abby Lee Dance Company) since they were toddlers. they went to a new competition every week and have to perform the dance routine that they learnt for within a week with some bunch of mamas dramas. and these are the original six;
from the left; Brooke Hyland, Mackenzie Ziegler, Maddie Ziegler, Chloe Lukasiak, Paige Hyland, and Nia Frazier.
so basically they are dancers with their own talents and capabilities. i really love all of them, it's hard to choose which one is my favourite. they are all amazing (seriously, i would kill to have any dancing skills, especially ballet). their dance routine has been taught by their dance teacher who is the owner of ALDC, Abby Miller. she did an amazing job with the routines. BUT she is a really tough cookie. Maddie Ziegler, has been her all time favourite. Abby keeps comparing Maddie with the other kids which is really bad because the last thing a child wants is to be compared to another kid. they have their own talents, capabilities, what they can do and what they can't do. i know she just wanted the best for them but comparing people to let the others down and telling them that what they do is not good enough isn't a great teaching method. she is mentally abusing them.
and there comes the second season. another girl had been brought into the team by an audition, Kendall Vertes.
every other season, kids come and go. but the most thing to highlight is during season 4. Abby brought another team with girls that she has chosen during the audition into ALDC. the girls have to compete with each other to prove which team deserves the place in ALDC. the ending is very heart breaking. enough with the Hylands quit ALDC, then Chloe and her mom, Christi, ended up leaving ALDC. even though Chloe won the highest score for ALDC (although she was in the fifth place, she is yet the highest between the three soloists), and even in the winning team, Abby wasn't really satisfied when Chloe beat Kamryn (a girl that she brought in the new team). Chloe even beat Kamryn twice, yet Abby still felt like Chloe didn't deserve to win. WHICH IS HEARTBREAKING BECAUSE CHLOE OVERHEARD WHAT ABBY SAID ABOUT HER TO CHLOE'S MOM.
i'm still really sad. because some of these kids are too young to handle this, they are so strong. for example Mackenzie who has always been compared to her sister Maddie a lot. i mean, she is Mackenzie and she will always be Mackenzie. she doesn't have to be Maddie to be great. seeing this kids getting hurt at such a young age is really hard. tbh, these girls are amazing in their own way. everything just seems to have fallen apart. the number of the member has been decreasing.
those are the ones that are left in the team. but i heard that Kalani (which is also a graceful dancer as they all are) will be in the team in season 5.
it hurts to see the friendships between them have grown apart. but this is just what the media has shown to us and what the media wants us to see. i hope they still do what they do. and be the best version of themselves.
this is just my opinion, but i don't think it matters because i'm not a dancer. i don't mean to offend anyone. okay. i feel like a creepy 17-year-old-girl who stalks them. hahaha i don't care. the fangirl life chooses me, i don't choose the fangirl life. or maybe i do...
in case you were wondering, yes, that Maddie is Maddie Ziegler who is featured as the dancer that potrays Sia when she was younger, in two of her music videos, Chandelier and Elastic Heart, which is really amazing. (please check it out!)
12. must-watch movie: The Secret Life of Walter Mitty.
written on Friday, December 5, 2014 @ 6:28 PM
SERIOUSLY I'M PISSED OFF. THANKS BLOGGER.
honestly, i spent for about half an hour writing this blogpost and it's gone.
so let's just start again.
great movie.
great plot.
great soundtrack.
beautiful set up.
great filmography.
i am going to give this movie 7/5 stars. round off applause to Ben Stiller. he made a great adaptation for a movie based on a short story written by James Thurber. i seriously didn't hear a lot of people talk about this movie. when it first came out on cinemas i saw a tweet from a guy and he said that it was a great movie. at that time, i wasn't that interested to watch it. obviously because i have never seen the trailer before UNTIL last two or three weeks. the trailer came out as i finished watching Saving Mr. Banks (i guess), which also a great movie. it captured my attention as i instantly heard Dirty Paws by Of Monsters and Men (an Icelandic Indie Band which is my favourite). but OH MY GOD what would you feel if a song from your favourite band just played on tv and the best part is, it is featured in a trailer and as a soundtrack for the movie as well? do you feel me? DO YOU FEEL ME? only God knew how hard i fangirled.
a second after that, the movie was already on my must-watch-movie list. not just because of the soundtrack, but the trailer captured my heart as well. so i went on the tv guide to record it so i won't missed it. i feel blessed because i have discovered such a great movie. well, who doesn't? it is such an inspirational movie. i feel that this movie was underrated so anybody who read this post really need to watch it. yep, this is me persuading you to watch it.
as a day dreamer myself, i feel that this movie is amazing. it doesn't have much dialogue but still a great movie. it shows how easily the day dreamer got distracted. as for you who doesn't day dream a lot, you might think that this is a boring movie. because of your lack of imagination, not the lack of dialogue. eek, sorry.
i still can get over how amazing this movie is. the dedication of Walter Mitty in that movie amazed me. i don't want to go further into the plot because i know how bad does it feel to read a spoiler before watching it or reading it. to the non-day dreamers, open up your mind and watch this movie. to the day dreamers who haven't watch it, where were you? (though i was late as well.)
so yeah... watch it.
p.s: you will find me talking about this topic a lot. not only about movies, but tv shows, books, music, fangirl stuffs, teen talk, etc. i find it very interesting to share my opinion in a blog post (because nobody really listens to my opinion that much). Zoella really inspires me though.
also, i have done a touch up on this blog a little bit. i might do an extreme makeover on it once i got a new laptop (if only i got one). i used Yasmin's laptop but only after i finished up the power point presentation that i spent hours on looking for information—and now i have a back ache. anyways, sorry for rambling. i have a trouble sleeping this two days. also, sorry in advanced for the terrible grammars or tenses or the sentences structure.
not to forget that i have been working on a new short story. stay tuned ;)
apparently, 18 years ago from today, i was born. aha. yep. today is my birthday. weirdly i like my birth date because i found it quite hard to find somebody with a same birth date as mine. so, i think that maybe i should write a short post. mediocre short post. i cannot guarantee anything about how long this post gonna be. well then, i better start it right now.
so, here you go. 18 things i learned in life;
1. if someone doesn't appreciate you or treat you like you deserve to be treated, they are not worth the hurt, the pain and the heartbreak.
2. you make mistake because you are a human. it is normal for human to err.
3. make sure when you decided to walk out of someone's life, do not turn back around.
4. love your parents. they may not understand you all the time, but they will always be there to love you.
5. if someone say that they want you, be sure that they show it. not just say it.
6. don't let your past define who you are now.
7. if your best friend doesn't like your partner, there must be something wrong. you see what you want to see; and that will cover up all the flaws.
8. true friends will accept for who you are and never will judge you by your past.
9. friends fight, that's that. but true friends will always come back.
10. not everyone wants to hear about your problem, let alone care about it. try not to someone solve your problem for you. just let them be just the listener.
11. try to do new things. step out of your comfort zone. that's how you find yourself.
12. if you want something, work for it. people aren't born talented, honey. they work for it.
13. sometimes, even though you do your best, it is still not enough for someone else. so take the matters of your own hand. do not depend on someone else too much.
14. when you are promised or convinced with something, always expect for the least. it is hard to find someone who keep their promises.
15. do not let someone else be your happiness, they will always break it.
16. people's definitions of beautiful are different. if they tell you that you are ugly, someone else might see you like you are the most beautiful thing in the world.
17. people often sugarcoat things. so do not rely on the bright side. be prepared for the bitter.
18. it's quite flattering for someone to have a crush on you. but remember, being somebody's crush means that they like you for what they see. go for someone who has seen all the sides of you, and still want you for who you are.
god, that is all. i feel like there's a lot of other things that i want to point out but i have limited into 18. this is just what i learned. doesn't mean i'm right though. this is just how i feel. i haven't been living for a long time. i still do have something more to learn about. toodles~
written on Thursday, February 18, 2016 @ 4:00 PM ✈
hey guyssss! here i am laying down on my bed in front my laptop, typing away some words into a full on sentence which i hope does make sense since it is like 10 minutes past 12 in the midnight. yeah, i put my blog post on schedule because i am THAT dedicated. i don't know why but i have the feeling that i have the need to talk about my favourite songs.
okay here's a thing. somehow, i find that one of the hardest question or one of a question with an infinite answer is "what is your favourite song?" and most of the time, i will just tell them about my current favourite song. it is impossible for me to answer an instant i have been questioned that question. i think i might have to sit down for a few days and write down all the songs that i love. then, i will be coming up to you with what-it-seems-like-a-harry-potter-and-the-order-of-the-phoenix but it is not. it is just as thick as that and when you read it, you will find that it is actually a list of my favourite songs.
however, in this post i won't be only talking about the songs that i love. but these are the songs that actually speaks for me. and you will find that most of the songs are actually instrumental and it is accurate. because sometimes, not even words can describe what do you feel inside, right? the songs that i will be giving out mostly have the lyrics that i found that even myself, can barely decipher thoroughly into it. instead, it will just end up with me thinking about that sing even more, trying to find and understand the lyrics, or what the story behind it. long story short, these are the songs that the lyrics or just the musics haunt me for ever.
and now that i have the song listed on my brain, i just realised that almost all of the songs are the only song that i heard and loved by a singer/band that i am not that obsessed with. (does this make sense?) and being the band obsessed as i am, i find that it is hard for me to choose only ONE SONG that i love from that band. that is just impossible. so none of the song that will be listed are from the bands or singer that i am obsessed with.
this song is just pure perfection. i find that this song gives me a roller coaster emotion. it starts of slow and in the middle it just blew me away. this is the song that gets me to dance although i am not a dancer; even terrible at it. it just hits me in the right place. oohhh, and fun fact, this song is in the movie Insidious. i was actually trying to find the song that Renee was singing with the piano and found this one instead. it is in the scene where they have moved into a new house and found somebody changing the song to Tiptoe Through The Tulips and dancing to it. it was the song before that.
well, this one, also was a main theme from a movie Requiem for a Dream. the story behind this happened recently actually. i was looking at the synthesia thing on youtube, because i was obsessed with piano instrumental at the moment. and then, i saw in the recommended section but it was entitled Requiem of a Dream and i was attracted by the title. and when the song started, i knew by that moment, i was screwed. just like Nuvole Bianche, the song starts of slow and in the middle of it, it just caused a riot in my heart. and there was this one time when i was listening to the full original version of it, not the piano instrumental version, when i was in the mall with my family. and in the piano instrumental, it wasn't a full version. so when i started to listen to the full original version of it, in the mall, i got chills and i was just starstrucked by it. and i just had to watch the movie which i find it quite interesting. not my favourite but it is a nice movie. i ended up in tears which i always do, so no surprise.
okay, this one actually i don't know what's the title because i found it on dance moms. it just happened to be the song from my most favourite group routine.; runaway/children with guns. when i rewatch the sow, i was mad because in the show they didn't really use the title children with guns and they didn't include the newscast. and i am super annoyed because the dance routine is just amazing and the story behind it just ahhhh. YOU MUST WATCH IT. i just love it so much i don't know why. but i am going to leave a video here.
okay, i just gotta save the best instrumental for the last. i discovered this song from the game Life is Strange that i watched Jacksepticeye playing. it is just amazing. i love the game, i love the soundtrack especially this one. because they used this song when Max listened to the voice mail that Nathan sent to her. and it just breaks me inside. it still does. that is like the part that all part of me shattered into pieces. HEARTBREAKING AF.
and here goes the song that is not instrumental lol
this song was also from dance moms. when i listened to this song while watching the dance routine. all i'm thing about is WHAT IS THIS ALL ABOUT???? i nearly cry every time i watch the dance routine. the lyrics is just simple but there is a whole lot meaning to it and i cannot interpret it which is disappointing for me. but all in all, i feel like the singer, is so underrated. and i have heard most of the song by them and it is actually good??? but i don't think anybody will know who they are which is very sad because they have like very good musics. thank God for dance moms. oh and also, the song was also from my favourite dance routine. so i'm gonna leave the video here for you to watch.
here is another song that i am grateful that i have mobile data and downloaded shazam because i heard this song was playing in the mall, so i just had to Shazam it. and i looked like an idiot because the volume was very low so it is hard to Shazam, then i had to raise my phone up in the air so it could detect the song. luckily, it did its job. i would be miserable if i can't find it. but to be exact, i only heard the music, not the lyrics. but when i search for the lyrics, i was like DAMN GIRL WHAT IS THISSSS. the lyrics to it just opened up my eyes and heart and mind.
i found this song from the awesomenesstv series with amanda steele on it called guidance. and in the second episode of it, if i am not mistaken, the counsellor interviewed a guy, i don't know what their relationship were. but this song started to play when they guy saw the girl dancing. when i listened to the lyrics thoroughly, i just... felt connected to it. it is so damn accurate??? but the lyrics are pretty self-explanatory. but the meaning just got me like... that explains me in a love life at that moment? aha. don't judge me.
the story about how i discover this song is pretty darn cute actually. i follow this poetry account (@wasitw0rtit) on instagram. and one day, the owner decided to make like a playlist based on each letter of our name. all we had to do was leave our name and our favourite genre. and she dm-ed me a picture of my name and the songs, which i didn't thought she would do because DAMN there was a lot of people who commented on that picture. so yeah, and one of which was this song that got me attached to it. the lyrics are very poetic, and i don't know. it is just beautiful. this song is just beautiful. i feel calm whenever listen to this song.
i didn't actually just found this actual song. i actually found the band when i was listening to other song. and then i saw someone uploaded the whole album of the band and i listened to it. i am attracted to the video because of the band's name. (Copeland is Kellin Quinn's daughter's name.)i like them. but i am not obsessed with them. but at that moment i was just trying to find a new song to listen to. so i try to listen every single one of the song from that band. and at last, i am only attached to this one song until now :)
i don't quite remember how did i find this song but what i remember was, as soon as i clicked on this song, i heard a very beautiful guitar arrangement in the beginning of the song. so then, i get the hang of it. until the end of the song. and that find that song just speaks to me at that moment. the words used in that songs just blew me away. and there was this one lyric that just makes me realise that, there's no way that there will be other song who describe it than this song can. i don't know. i just feel that the lyrics just hit in the right place. and i, even used some of the lyrics in my SPM Essay which you will find in my writings section in this blog <-- shameless self promoting.
there's a degree of difficulty in dealing with me.
this song is just plain big question mark. i am so curious about the story behind it. what the lyrics meant. it just left me thinking a lot. every lyrics just stuck in my head. i can't get away from the curiousity. every time i listen to this song, i feel like i can relate to it but i don't know which part of the lyrics. so yeah. that is freaking haunting now, does it? but somebody interpret it as the couple broke up because one of them cannot follow up with one of the partner's life as s/he is a celebrity? stars and boulevards? i don't know. all i know is just i love it.
look out, they're coming after us with big guns.
they're only gonna tell you all the bad things i've done.
even if the words they say aren't truth, they've won.
THIS SONG IS MY MOST FAVOURITE. i can't even describe how much i love this song. this song is me in a song. when people ask me to describe myself in song, i would give them this song. every lyrics of it. i found this song when i'm trying to find the song from Sala Samabojcow (Suicide Room) <-- one of my favourite song. then i found this song instead even though this song is not the soundtrack of the movie. gurllll, it's the soundtrack of me, i tell you. hahaha. and they don't even have the music video, somebody just make an edit of this song and the movie suicide room. it is so relatable. i don't know how to put it into words. really.
GOTTA SAVE THE BEST FOR THE LAST OKAYYYY THIS SONG IS MY MOST FAVOURITE SONG AS WELL. this is the first and strange is also the first. get it? both are my first most favourite. drew monson, if any of you who did not know (how dare you) is actually a youtuber. and my favourite as well. he is a friend of shane dawson. you might want to look drew's channel like i'm not even kidding. he is amazing. he is hilarious. just search mytoecold on youtube and binge watch it.
at first, i didn't even know he can sing or has a singing channel. i just found it when i saw his My Youtube Drama video. in the end of the video, he played piano and i was completely starstrucked by it. he just played it so effortlessly yet still so beautiful. so i just read the comments and found out his singing channel: thepophefakes. and i am grateful for it. his songs are beautiful. please listen to it. he is like lowkey musically talented. i am so sad that he doesn't get the attention that he deserved to get. the lyrics to this song is just completely moving. he also made a video about the song. what the lyrics meant. and you have to watch it as well. it is the most crucial part. because when i first listen to it, i don't really understand the song. but when i watched the video, i get the whole meaning of it and i am just so in love with it.
[i don't even know which lyrics are my favourite bcs they are all good af]
and that's it. that is my favourite song. funny thing is, i just realised that most of the songs that i've listed are just so underrated. when i try to find a quote or chords form the song, i couldn't find it anywhere. by the way, these are not the only song that i listened to. i listened to a lot of songs. mostly by bands. i listened to pierce the veil, panic!at the disco, of monsters and men, paramore, fall out boys, my chemical romance. and i love all of their songs. but i just feel like it's not fair for me to pick only one song from the band as my favourite because there is a lot of songs that i equally love. so... yeah. anyway, this post took me two hours to write. aha. this is why i like to put my post on schedule so i won't get carried away by writing the post. so yeah, i hope any of you who reads this, listen to it and like it? i don't know. i feel like my music taste is different from all of my friends.
hello everybody~ how are you? good? good. no? i'm sorry. but whatever it is, i though i'd make another midnight posts because i like to ramble a lot during midnight, apparently aha. so yeah. also, i think i might change the way i post things. to be honest, i don't feel very enthusiast with my fangirl friday. i mean, i do love to talk about them, but i feel like it's limited with words. so i think i might cut that off. i don't know about friday i'm in love, but i'll try make it happen because i have to post once a month anyway. so yeah, there's that.
but yeah, since it's valentine's day yesterday, we're gonna talk about love, shall we? how ironic. nothing specific, just random. as that is what i do best. i don't celebrate valentine's day, but that doesn't mean i am not allowed to talk about love, right? so, to those who celebrate, happy valentine's day ♥ oh and mind you that i am having the worst headaches/migraine in the world <-- i'm just exaggerating, it's not the worst but it hurts quite a lot. so if anything that i will be saying in a couple of minute doesn't make sense, do apologise.
gotta have harry potter reference in any post possible aha
so, love. i don't know what to talk about really. back in the old days, i was a naive, "innocent" teenager who thought that i was matured. pffft. honestly, i cringe every time i think of that phase of mine. ew. i really thought that i have to be committed in every relationship that i was in. like i felt the need to be the best girlfriend of the year probably. and my goal was to be in a relationship more than a year or something and i achieved that, props to me. not. however, everything went down to waste. what a naive girl i was. little did i know, a few years later i will be the ultimate heartless bitch who couldn't care less about not having a boyfriend. in fact, i saviour every moment of it. seriously, if you are single, embrace it because you have at least one less problem to care about.
but it is not like i am anti-love or something like that, but i feel like "yeah whatever" when i think about relationship. i still have a crush and all (let's not talk about that). all i am thinking right now is my fictional boyfriends, books, and food. ah good ol' days.
once, i read a quote somewhere from twitter. it said, "love is a feeling, not a decision." and i used to agree with that. that love is a feeling; not a decision. but then, i stumbled upon a tweet about it. and it said, love is a decision after all. and since that day, my whole point of view has changed and let me tell you why.
feelings fade. no matter how hard you try to keep that feeling, at some point in your life you will find you don't love that person any longer, get bored or maybe outgrew from them. and it is true. i may have experienced it or i may not. so i think if you are moving on, it is just a matter of time that you will grew apart from that person. and what will remain is the memory that will cause you a problem. because whenever you miss someone, you will always come back to the memories that you had with them. you don't necessarily go to that person and tell them that you miss them. NOT REALLY. so if you are moving on, don't let the memory hang on the back of your mind. let the memory go, eventually you will let the person go as well.
you might think that what the freakin hell do you mean that love is a decision? how the hell do you decide that you love someone. okay, see. the thing is, as i said earlier that feelings fade, so all that's left for you is a choice. a decision for you to choose. you choose to love that person. you choose to be that person all over again. okay, this one, i don't mean for you to choose over a person again and again if they have cheated on you. nope. certainly do not. instead, i mean it in the way, i will choose you no matter how hard it is to be with you. for example, your partner have like a financial problems to deal with, but you are still there with them instead of dumping them. that is what i mean. we choose to love someone. even if we are mad at them. we choose to forgive them. not to stop loving them.
god, i feel like an old lady talking about this. but yeah, this is what i mean by love is a decision. indeed it is.
on the other hand, i find that most of us will usually end up with someone that doesn't appreciate us, but we love them any ways. do you get what i mean? yeah, that. the only reason to that is we accept the love we think we deserve. okay, now listen. if you can't be yourself whenever you are around them, they might not be the one. the person who loves us will always be the one who brings out the best version of ourselves. and that is how you become happy for being in a relationship with someone. but remember that to not be afraid to have a fight in a relationship because it is totally normal. i used to think that a happy relationship is a couple who never had a fight. i was wrong, really. however, i certainly do not mean a fight where one of you beating each other. that is abuse. if you are facing that, leave them.
my definition of soulmate is probably a person who can accept me how weird i am and do not bother to change the fact that i am just born as a weirdo. a person who i totally don't mind if i haven't been taling to for a long time, but when you talk to them after a long time, it feels like you haven't been missing a day of not talking them (does that make sense?). kinda like when we are with our best friends. you don't always have to talk to them to know that you are their friends, you just know that they are always there. a person who is a complete opposite of me. fire+fire=more fire. right? i always imagine that because i love to write, my partner will be the one who loves to read. so there, we can complete each other. but you know, people always said that if a fangirl likes you, then you are a lucky person. because fangirl has a quite high standard. and i find that, it is true hahaha. so, i think maybe i'd rather be in a relationship with a fictional characters rather than being in love with the wrong person.
i think i totally went all out about love hahaha. but yeah, don't worry if you are single. the best is yet to come. God saves the best for the last. have fun. there's nothing to worry about. fate has been written for you, just pray for the best. we are all created in pairs, aren't we? so, no worries. you still have your friends. saviour this moment as you are still single. once you are married, there will be barely any time for you to have a pamper evening, hang out with your friends. so no need the rush. be cool about it.
lol i am just saying this, but my heart is utterly broken because i will always be fanzoned by my favourite youtubers or i will never ever date my fictional boyfriend :(
weirdo.
so anyway, that is all i have to talk about love. what a post. i literally just mixed everything up in one post over a same topic. but yeah, i love you lots. oh and just a disclaimer, if you don't agree with me, i'm sorry. this is just my opinion. i am certainly NOT a love expert or something. i talk based on my experience.
i know all of you are, indeed, a very nice person. you feel obligated to make other people feel good about themselves. so, just like how we usually do, we compliment each other. but there is one thing that bugs me A LOT. i mean there is nothing wrong if you want to compliment each other. but there are WAYS to do it. and one of them is...
DO NOT BRING OTHER PEOPLE DOWN TO MAKE OTHERS FEEL BETTER.
for an example;
"curvy girls are better than skinny girls."
"you are beautiful if you don't have thigh gap."
"you are better than her. she is ugly."
"have you seen yourself inside the mirror? at least she's skinny."
"don't worry about it. she's stupid unlike you."
?????????
um, i mean... how does that can make other people feel better? probably, there sure are people actually do but not to me at least. why do you think it is appropriate for you to offend people to make other people feel good about themselves? not to say that i am such an angel. in fact, i, too, sometimes probably do that. guess what? i am flawed. but i have been trying to teach myself to keep the bad only to myself.
i know you do not mean it that way. we do not usually realise that some things that we have said can be hurtful towards others. that is why, it is crucial for us to think before saying something. because most of the times, everything sounds better in our head before we say it out loud.
it is just the same when your parents compare you to other kids. except of course, that is less obvious. most of you hate that, yes? so does in this situation or any other situation. comparing other people by offending is never a good idea. just like when we compare two rocks. they are rocks. yes. but are they in the same shape? no. just like us, we are different in all sort of ways either clearly be seen or vice versa. okay so now i am comparing you guys to a rock, because you guys' hearts are hard like a rock, you heartless bish sorry.
i know some of you will say "but s/he's a bad person. s/he deserves it." honey, no matter how bad mannered that person is, they don't deserve to be treated that way. nobody does. i always believe that we have to be nice to people even if they are not nice to you . (lame, i know.) but how can we make this world a better place if we keep hurting each other (physically, mentally or emotionally)? i know it's hard. but we are all still trying. nothing is easy right? people might not treat you as nice as you treat them, but hey? what do we have to lose? nothing. being good doesn't make us lose anything. in the end, we are a part of a good in the society at the very least. and that is very much needed these days.
all in all, it all worth a try. always be kind. of course you can compliment each other without offending people. or maybe we can just try to learn not to judge people.
"curvy girls are better than skinny girls."
curvy or not, you are still beautiful.
"you are beautiful if you don't have thigh gap."
do you have thigh gap? cool.
you don't have thigh gap? also cool.
"you are better than her. she is ugly."
you don't have to be better than her, you are you.
just be you, that's enough.
you have your own kind of beauty.
"have you seen yourself inside the mirror? at least she's skinny."
have you looked into the mirror?
that is one masterpiece that God has created.
"don't worry about it. she's stupid unlike you."
you think you are stupid?
my love, your intelligence shouldn't be measured by your grade.
also, we all have different things that we are all good at.
it is hard, i do realise that. but i am not telling you to change overnight. just try a little bit at a time. not drastically. hard as it may seem, you will see the good results by the end of it. and never, never ever forget to say sorry if you did something wrong. we all make mistake. we are all merely humans. that is it, i am hoping that i have opened your mind or at least make you realise something about this post and try to make a change. i do not mind if you do not agree with me but this is just my opinion and my thoughts that i decided to put it into words without offending other people. i would like to apologise if i hurt other people with my words or ever be mean to.
remember, the world that we are living in has already enough of unkind people in it. a little bit of good people in it surely wouldn't hurt as much as killing people :)
hola guys. update time! whew. yes, i am updating my blog on a school night cause i was ever feeling so inspired hahaha. i have nothing better to do, i guess?
don't ask me why but i'm feeling like listing all of the lessons that i have learnt during my 17 years of living. well, probably not all though. maybe just some of the things that cross my mind. first things first.
DO NOT MAKE SOMEBODY ELSE YOUR HAPPINESS. DO NOT, EVER. do not put somebody else first before yourself. people will leave you eventually. doesn't matter if they leave you on purpose or not. you can never guarantee that people will stay forever. even if they will, death will do us apart. trust me, i have been there (not that somebody died). and that is the worst thing i have ever done. it is like the most self-destructive thing to do to yourself. always, always put God first. God will always be with you. His existence is permanent. do not give all you have to other people. not that you can give them anything at all, but probably just 50% or 80% of it. never 100%. never. NOT EVERYONE WILL SEE YOUR EFFORT. whenever you do something for other people, always do it with sincerity. not because you want them to appreciate your effort. because sometimes, if you do it for the sake of the attention of the wrong person, no matter how big your effort is, they won't see it. they will be blinded by other stuffs. but that doesn't mean you have to stop showing your efforts. just don't do it for the sake of attention or to be noticed. YOUR PROBLEMS AREN'T SOMEBODY ELSE'S PROBLEM.
the thing is, yes, sometimes we feel like we want to pour our hearts out and tell our friends or boyfriend about our problems. well, what you really should know that not all of us want to know about your problems. because we all have our own. somehow we just need someone to listen to. just make sure that someone really cares. but don't rely on them because not all of us can help you. maybe we can be just the place for you to pour your heart out. not to fix your problems. YOU WILL LOSE CERTAIN PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE.
doesn't matter if it's your family or friends, it not not possible not to lose certain people in your life. they may promise you forever, but how long is forever if we can only live until only-God-knows-when? don't trust people who promise to love you forever. trust people who promise to love you until they don't anymore. it might sounds very scary but that's what i think is the truth. don't you?
YOU WILL CHANGE MULTIPLE TIMES you will change multiple times through your life. but that's okay. doesn't matter if people can't accept you. if they can't accept you, what makes you think that they are the right ones in your life? it is your life. you may change into good or bad people. either way. doesn't matter how bad you will be, you won't be bad forever. because at some point in your life, you are going to realise that you have done a mistake. so what? change and be it. you are both of your good or dark side. you are your mistake. but how can we live without making a mistake? YOU WILL END UP BEING THE PERSON YOU SAID YOU WON'T BE you will. that's why we can't really judge people. because we will never know what awaits us in the future. people make mistake. so do we. the only difference is what our mistake is. we are all sinners but with different sins. don't hate people because they are a sinner. instead, hate the sin itself.
WE MAKE MISTAKE AND WE LEARN FROM IT well maybe sometimes we make the same mistake over and over again until we realise that we are making a mistake. so what? learn from it. most of the times we will make mistake multiple times. so what we need to do is learn from it. and fix it. learn from what we have done wrong. sometimes we even realise that we are doing the same mistake and still do. but that's just how it goes. eventually, you will outgrow of it.
PEOPLE WILL JUDGE YOU NO MATTER WHAT so do whatever you think is best for you. and be happy because you do. don't listen to what others think or say. they are not you. they don't have control over your life. you weren't born to please other people. you have to make yourself happy. because you are the one who is going to feel what you feel. you are the one who is going to face what you are going to face later on. so screw other people's judgement. you don't want to think about the thing you haven't done for the next 30 years or so because you were to afraid what people might think of you, right? doesn't matter if it didn't turn out well, at least you did it.
just a reminder; this is what I have learnt throughout my life. doesn't mean it's right though. just my opinion. idgaf if you do not agree with me.
at first, i wanted to make a challenge then i decided not to because i am not very dedicated lol. i didn't plan to make this blog post about this tv shows called Dance Moms, but then, i feel like i wanted to. i have seen this shows since season 1 but stopped at season 3 last year(?) because malaysia's lifetime has stopped showing them idk why. so i started to watch the season 4 back this past two days online. i finished it ni two days. yep. but i still don't have the chance to catch up on the new season. i have cried and laughed and be mad for this two days (which makes me realise that i have became more sensitive than before). so this show is about a group of girls who dance at ALDC (Abby Lee Dance Company) since they were toddlers. they went to a new competition every week and have to perform the dance routine that they learnt for within a week with some bunch of mamas dramas. and these are the original six;
from the left; Brooke Hyland, Mackenzie Ziegler, Maddie Ziegler, Chloe Lukasiak, Paige Hyland, and Nia Frazier.
so basically they are dancers with their own talents and capabilities. i really love all of them, it's hard to choose which one is my favourite. they are all amazing (seriously, i would kill to have any dancing skills, especially ballet). their dance routine has been taught by their dance teacher who is the owner of ALDC, Abby Miller. she did an amazing job with the routines. BUT she is a really tough cookie. Maddie Ziegler, has been her all time favourite. Abby keeps comparing Maddie with the other kids which is really bad because the last thing a child wants is to be compared to another kid. they have their own talents, capabilities, what they can do and what they can't do. i know she just wanted the best for them but comparing people to let the others down and telling them that what they do is not good enough isn't a great teaching method. she is mentally abusing them.
and there comes the second season. another girl had been brought into the team by an audition, Kendall Vertes.
every other season, kids come and go. but the most thing to highlight is during season 4. Abby brought another team with girls that she has chosen during the audition into ALDC. the girls have to compete with each other to prove which team deserves the place in ALDC. the ending is very heart breaking. enough with the Hylands quit ALDC, then Chloe and her mom, Christi, ended up leaving ALDC. even though Chloe won the highest score for ALDC (although she was in the fifth place, she is yet the highest between the three soloists), and even in the winning team, Abby wasn't really satisfied when Chloe beat Kamryn (a girl that she brought in the new team). Chloe even beat Kamryn twice, yet Abby still felt like Chloe didn't deserve to win. WHICH IS HEARTBREAKING BECAUSE CHLOE OVERHEARD WHAT ABBY SAID ABOUT HER TO CHLOE'S MOM.
i'm still really sad. because some of these kids are too young to handle this, they are so strong. for example Mackenzie who has always been compared to her sister Maddie a lot. i mean, she is Mackenzie and she will always be Mackenzie. she doesn't have to be Maddie to be great. seeing this kids getting hurt at such a young age is really hard. tbh, these girls are amazing in their own way. everything just seems to have fallen apart. the number of the member has been decreasing.
those are the ones that are left in the team. but i heard that Kalani (which is also a graceful dancer as they all are) will be in the team in season 5.
it hurts to see the friendships between them have grown apart. but this is just what the media has shown to us and what the media wants us to see. i hope they still do what they do. and be the best version of themselves.
this is just my opinion, but i don't think it matters because i'm not a dancer. i don't mean to offend anyone. okay. i feel like a creepy 17-year-old-girl who stalks them. hahaha i don't care. the fangirl life chooses me, i don't choose the fangirl life. or maybe i do...
in case you were wondering, yes, that Maddie is Maddie Ziegler who is featured as the dancer that potrays Sia when she was younger, in two of her music videos, Chandelier and Elastic Heart, which is really amazing. (please check it out!)
12. must-watch movie: The Secret Life of Walter Mitty.
written on Friday, December 5, 2014 @ 6:28 PM ✈
SERIOUSLY I'M PISSED OFF. THANKS BLOGGER.
honestly, i spent for about half an hour writing this blogpost and it's gone.
so let's just start again.
great movie.
great plot.
great soundtrack.
beautiful set up.
great filmography.
i am going to give this movie 7/5 stars. round off applause to Ben Stiller. he made a great adaptation for a movie based on a short story written by James Thurber. i seriously didn't hear a lot of people talk about this movie. when it first came out on cinemas i saw a tweet from a guy and he said that it was a great movie. at that time, i wasn't that interested to watch it. obviously because i have never seen the trailer before UNTIL last two or three weeks. the trailer came out as i finished watching Saving Mr. Banks (i guess), which also a great movie. it captured my attention as i instantly heard Dirty Paws by Of Monsters and Men (an Icelandic Indie Band which is my favourite). but OH MY GOD what would you feel if a song from your favourite band just played on tv and the best part is, it is featured in a trailer and as a soundtrack for the movie as well? do you feel me? DO YOU FEEL ME? only God knew how hard i fangirled.
a second after that, the movie was already on my must-watch-movie list. not just because of the soundtrack, but the trailer captured my heart as well. so i went on the tv guide to record it so i won't missed it. i feel blessed because i have discovered such a great movie. well, who doesn't? it is such an inspirational movie. i feel that this movie was underrated so anybody who read this post really need to watch it. yep, this is me persuading you to watch it.
as a day dreamer myself, i feel that this movie is amazing. it doesn't have much dialogue but still a great movie. it shows how easily the day dreamer got distracted. as for you who doesn't day dream a lot, you might think that this is a boring movie. because of your lack of imagination, not the lack of dialogue. eek, sorry.
i still can get over how amazing this movie is. the dedication of Walter Mitty in that movie amazed me. i don't want to go further into the plot because i know how bad does it feel to read a spoiler before watching it or reading it. to the non-day dreamers, open up your mind and watch this movie. to the day dreamers who haven't watch it, where were you? (though i was late as well.)
so yeah... watch it.
p.s: you will find me talking about this topic a lot. not only about movies, but tv shows, books, music, fangirl stuffs, teen talk, etc. i find it very interesting to share my opinion in a blog post (because nobody really listens to my opinion that much). Zoella really inspires me though.
also, i have done a touch up on this blog a little bit. i might do an extreme makeover on it once i got a new laptop (if only i got one). i used Yasmin's laptop but only after i finished up the power point presentation that i spent hours on looking for information—and now i have a back ache. anyways, sorry for rambling. i have a trouble sleeping this two days. also, sorry in advanced for the terrible grammars or tenses or the sentences structure.
not to forget that i have been working on a new short story. stay tuned ;)
“To put away aimlessness and weakness, and to begin to think with purpose, is to enter the ranks of those strong ones who only recognize failure as one of the pathways to attainment; who make all conditions serve them, and who think strongly, attempt fearlessly, and accomplish masterfully.”
- James Allen Quotes
Sometimes I wonder how people see me and what they think of me. It scares me a bit, honestly. I am sure though, that what they think of me,
what they think my life is, is a complete misperception. I have always tried to show myself as a carefree person, as someone who wont get bothered
because of public judgements. I am sure my friend and family think there is nothing going wrong in my life, that I do not worry enough, that
I am always happy. And I am sure they probably somewhat hate me for it because, lets admit it, there is nothing worse than seeing someone
who is life seems so perfect while yours is a complete mess. Truth is, I have become an expert at pretending. I think we are all experts
or at least we are getting there.
my sunshine
links exchanged opened! just tag me but link me first
